quote:

Originally posted by MajKarma:
I guess I am back because I am being sent copies of these posting and I am both concerned on one hand and appauld on the other.

First, ProudUSC, I aplogize where I have obviously offended you. I can see where what I have had to say about women could be considered "Bashing"..I wish I believed otherwise and I can see where my being open and honest has some serious downsides.

Secondly, I do not like or respect this SonOfMichael Character. Don't agree with him and frankly, his telling you to dump your husband etc etc makes me ill.
I would prefer he not throw his hat in my ring or make comments as though he and I are of the same thinking because we do not.

I am not going to respond anymore and may withdraw from this forum just because I don't want to be associated with this character and all of this has become utterly unproductive.

I am glad you are sticking with your husband, maybe you are the exception...he's a very lucky man.

Thanks, MajKarma. I never associated you with Sonof. Sometimes he is helpful; other times, he's very sarcastic. I, too, believe that marriage vows shouldn't be taken lightly. I don't believe in a throw away society at all. I think everyone (men included) would like to have more wealth, nicer houses, nicer cars, etc. But, I've been there and done that. None of the material things really make you happy - just makes you want more & more. It's not what you have, but who you are as a person that counts. I try to live by this thought everyday. You can't buy love, period. I hope you don't find this out the hard way. If a woman truly loves you, she will not leave you for a richer man. She will stand by you and partner with you to build up the wealth and richness of the relationship. It's not complicated. There have been numerous occasions when I could have turned my back on my crazy life, but I'm a fighter and believe when I took my vows 22 years ago, they meant something. Of course, with 3 kids involved, they mean even more.

I still wish you luck & hope everything works out for you. I know we don't agree on the 'dark women' issue, but we do agree that marriage vows are sacred and shouldn't be thrown away like yesterday's news.

I thank you for your understanding and comments. I of course agree with most everything you say and while I do see something wrong, if not dark, in many women and also believe that women are in control of their men..if not men in general..as mothers, as wives, as lovers...we men are not in control. Frankly, much of this is beyond my ability to understand. I am not a psychologist, lawyer or Love Doctor, I am just a man who met, fell in love with and married a woman who in my opinion has been swayed/subverted/corrupted by other women who have done what they have convinced her to do. I am not going to go again into the details, except that it is all "Very Dark" and I am seeing it done in every direction. Again, I do not know how to sort it all out and realize I am not exactly at my best mentally or emotionally. But I am convinced of this, which is why I took on the handle MajKarma, the morality, the treachery, the betrayal the thinking and doings of this generation are asking, if not begging for disaster. It is almost like a self fulfilling prophesy; people know they do wrong, no matter how they may legalize and justify it...they know!! I could give you so many examples of what so many people really think and feel about themselves and again, THEY KNOW THEY ARE CORRUPTED and do wrong. My wife was not corrupt when I married her..she was innocent and good.. it was her G D girlfriends working on her and now she is trapped with them and I don't know how to save her. She has violated our marriage and thinks the only way to wipe it clean is to divorce me...that she will have a fresh start...there never a fresh start with pentence and forgiveness.

I am sure I have opened a can a worms with what I say, but I with all sincerity believe more and more horrible things are coming very soon in this generation, and for me, the not least evil and horrible is this thing my wife is doing...it is like murder..it is the same heart as murder...the same heart as a woman who aborts her own baby...the same heart that plans and schemes and waits to betray a loved one. There will be no escape.. don't take my word for it..we all are stuck with who we are, what we do and our souls. Pardon me for ranting again :/ However, there is another point to my being offended by the SonOfMichael...his thinking is of the same evil I speak of.

Maybe none here believe in God, but I will remind any that do and believe in the Bible, Koran or Torah...there is only one place in any of these books where it says GOD HATES... they all say GOD HATES DIVORCE and the reason is it is the worst kind of murder///it is the murder of one you vowed to cling to, to be one with. Anyway. I am getting sick again and should disengage.

God Bless you too

PS. Some will be thinking I am saying a woman should be forced to stay in an abusive relationship. I am not, there are and should be sever punishments for such men, but I did not abuse my wife. If I had, I would be in a court already, but she doesn't want to go to court because I was a faithful and good husband..and still am.

Well, I am sick again and be bugged by this if I don't say it.

There is something very special and unique about Immigrant Marriages that go beyond a marriage license and ceramony. I won't speak about anyone else, just case. I had never even had a passport or dealt with immigration, but I did all the paperwork to extend my wife's visa, all the paperwork and all the steps it took to get her legal, travel documents, bringing her son here...her trips back and forth..money for her family..things for the boy...the list is very long.. THAT"S COMMITMENT four years of everything for her. So, anyone who says "Get Over It" just does not get it...this woman is etched on my bones...and ironically, I think she thinks everything is going to be okay in time..as do many here. It is not going to be okay.

I don't understand alot of what you say, because I would never look for a mate from a different country (unless I met him here). I understand you were burned in previous relationships with women who were American? But why in the world would expect love, honesty and faithfulness from a foreigner who needed a green card to stay in this country. I guess I don't understand a man's need for beauty over brains, financial stability, ability to make decisions and all that. Maybe it's the independence in American women you don't like?
But an independent, honest American women sings praises over a scamming, dependent, money hungry Russian any day in my book.

I think reality will hit soon. You are making progress and I believe you will soon agree that Aksana and her son truly used you. I can't imagine spending 4? years of my life living with someone who was scheming all along on how to leave me? She's a terrible person, MajKarma. One day, you will wake up and realize this. I hope it is sooner than later and you don't spend any more money trying to win her back.

You did not read my story? I met my wife HERE. I did not go looking for her. I have never been to Belarus or Russia...just Guam and Viet Nam etc.

As for American Women.. I am sorry but none I have ever met come close to her for me.. What can I say? She's a White Russian, which is what Belarus means. She is very unique...old stock...my dream what I always wanted for a mate and the only reason she has done this is because I could not give her the lifestyle her girlfriends and and say she can get if she dumps me.

And, you were not in the wrong!!!!! Wake up, MajKarma! You didn't owe this woman what you provided to her in the first place. Why do you think being able to provide her with a place on the beach, the party life and all is going to make any difference? If she loved you, she wouldn't have left you. A few posts ago, you mentioned getting a sailboat - a very good idea. We got into boating about 3 years ago (spend every weekend in the summer on the boat). It truly changed our lives. Boaters are the best people! We have made friends that we never would have made sitting at home. So much fun! I really want only good things for you, MajKarma. You're the one that needs to make them happen, though.

quote:

Originally posted by MajKarma:
I was never talking about national divorce statistics or abstract observations and experiences. Everything I have shared here is based on what has been happening to me and a huge percentage of the men I personally know who have married Russian/Byelorussia Women.

MajKarma, the reason why I gave you that statistic is to show the reality in the world we live in, to stop feeling sorry for yourself, to start thinking in your head reasonably instead of thinking emotionally. It is quite obvious you have been hurt emotionally and much of what you are going through is grief. You are attempting to climb onto something to pull your head out of the water, but the result is bitterness, emptiness, regret, remorse, etc. One of the things I am doing is not taking sides. I am not taking yours nor hers. Sometimes I play devil's advocate in an attempt to sort through your emotional responses and defense mechanisms to look to see what is truly behind the facade you are throwing. But what I have found is that you are not quite sure yourself which is disturbing psychology.

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So okay, it is true, I saw the Gold Digger in my wife, most of the good looking women I have know throughout my life were to one degree or another, but in my wife’s case, she was always that way from day one..she had nothing and wanted everything, and I wanted very much to spoil and indulge her..I still do but I just couldn't do enough. All of the women connected to her are these kinds of women, without exception....they "Just Want To Have Fun" and if any of you know these kinds of women..these Russian Beauties, you know they love to drink and party..dress up and live the good life. I guess that is true of many, if not most women these days. I don't know if they will succeed, they have their Green Cards, Credit Cards and seed money they've stolen away into their secret bank accounts while going through the green card process, spousal support and child support in one case…they all were preparing for a long time for their escape(s) from their horrible husbands..like me.

Although every woman wants to be loved and feel to be loved, something much deeper is required in this type of relationship. Smothering her and not communicating with her why she wanted those things may be an indication of why it failed, just as a thought. However, nowhere in your post did I detect any serious communication between the two of you. I am not talking about what her favorite color is, or what her favorite shoes are, or what she likes to wear, or go out to eat, I am talking about what really made her tick inside. Did you notice when she is miffed how her face reacted, her eyebrows, or facial expressions, body movements, etc? This is one example. Were you intimate with your wife without being sexual? Did you attempt to understand her culture, her ideas, her values, her reasons on both trivial and serious matters during the marriage? Did you treat her son as if it was your own blood? Again, I am being the devil's advocate here. It is not intended to make you feel small, but it is intended for you to think reasonably on what has happened.

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That was never me, I adored my wife..loved taking care of her..doing her hair, making something special for us to eat..taking her dancing. I have to watch out, I will have myself crying again.

see point above.

I am not defending her nor you. Get that point across your head.

quote:

Is love a game?

Then you have not uderstood marriage or what marriage is intended to be beyond the carnate world, MAjKarma

You said it better than me. I think you're a guy (right?) and that's who he needs feedback from. Not a lady because he obviously hates all of us. We're dark, worthless nothings according to him. So be it, maybe he needs to move out of California - because women in Virginia are not like he describes at all.

Oh boy, this is so surreal. I've never seen a man pine for a woman like this.
It's usually women who are so emotional, men keep it all inside. But hey, that's a new internet era and the anonymity of internet brings people closer, acts like a therapy session, and all other sorts of things.

I am really sorry for what you're going through OP, I wish you sort your life out and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is tough for all of us. Rejection is part of it.

Btw, are you sure your wife's name is Aksana. I know Oksana is a Russian name, never heard of Aksanas.

quote:

Originally posted by iperson:
Oh boy, this is so surreal. I've never seen a man pine for a woman like this.
It's usually women who are so emotional, men keep it all inside. But hey, that's a new internet era and the anonymity of internet brings people closer, acts like a therapy session, and all other sorts of things.

I am really sorry for what you're going through OP, I wish you sort your life out and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is tough for all of us. Rejection is part of it.

Btw, are you sure your wife's name is Aksana. I know Oksana is a Russian name, never heard of Aksanas.

Iperson, many posts ago, he said they changed her name from Oksana to Aksana. So you are right on top of things knowing the true origin of her name. This will be an offline topic for you and I. Don't want to say to much in the public forum.

quote:

Originally posted by ProudUSC:
You said it better than me. I think you're a guy (right?) and that's who he needs feedback from. Not a lady because he obviously hates all of us. We're dark, worthless nothings according to him. So be it, maybe he needs to move out of California - because women in Virginia are not like he describes at all.

Yes, I am a guy. But I will urge you to continue to talk to him to show that his generalizations on women are completely wrong, vulgar, rude, and unnecessary. And his comments also insult my wife and my sister. And that I do not like at all.

This talking about me in the 3rd person as though I am not hearing is also insulting.

Nevertheless, I am glad to hear I am wrong about women...I hope I am utterly wrong and you don't prove me right some day Mr. Hudson.

Stop talking down in my direction, I am not your peer and my comments don't need your permission or agreement. Your your family is not as I has discribed (YET) I am very happy for you. I was never talking about those who it does not apply to..however, I still believe it is in them all. I hope for your sake I am wrong.

It's amazing what and who I have opened myself up too here. I will be gone soon enough.

quote:

Originally posted by MajKarma:
This talking about me in the 3rd person as though I am not hearing is also insulting.

Nevertheless, I am glad to hear I am wrong about women...I hope I am utterly wrong and you don't prove me right some day Mr. Hudson.

Stop talking down in my direction, I am not your peer and my comments don't need your permission or agreement. Your your family is not as I has discribed (YET) I am very happy for you. I was never talking about those who it does not apply to..however, I still believe it is in them all. I hope for your sake I am wrong.

It's amazing what and who I have opened myself up too here. I will be gone soon enough.

I will only say this, you can help yourself only if you choose to, MajKarma. L learned this before I was 21 who had just lost his trust fund and had to live on the streets and who a couple of years later had his fiance break off the engagement only weeks before the ceremony. I probably have more reason to hate anyone and everyone based on my personal experiences if I chose to live that way. But I chose not to. Part of my rehabilitation was my faith, part of it was my own choices not to hate, and part of it was a group of friends who "figuratively" kicked my arse for over two years.

Personally, I think you need serious professional help, Majkarma. From my perspective, I believe you have some skeletons that have been haunting you since your first wife divorced you. I may be wrong that you have been previously married at least once, but this is my overall general observation. Again, I wish you luck with your current situation. You may be right about Aksana, you may be wrong. But either way, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and pull yourself together from your bootstrap. Again, good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by MajKarma:
This talking about me in the 3rd person as though I am not hearing is also insulting.

Nevertheless, I am glad to hear I am wrong about women...I hope I am utterly wrong and you don't prove me right some day Mr. Hudson.

Stop talking down in my direction, I am not your peer and my comments don't need your permission or agreement. Your your family is not as I has discribed (YET) I am very happy for you. I was never talking about those who it does not apply to..however, I still believe it is in them all. I hope for your sake I am wrong.

It's amazing what and who I have opened myself up too here. I will be gone soon enough.

No one was talking behind your back, MajKarma. We know this is a public forum and respond to each other when questions are asked. We discuss the situation, of course in third person, because we are not a party to yours. It doesn't mean we are being dismissive, rather having a discussion and trading ideas. I hope you understand this and take no offense.

Majkarma
i read through some of your writings. All I can say is wow. I read some of what the women had to say. Its funny how they feel about things when the shoe is on the other foot. What your X is doing is so **** common. Iv'e trolled the internet here and abroad and there are a lot of women who are looking for the free ride. You would think that if a guy is well off that he can have his pick. Yes and No. The big problem is its a **** shoot to tell if 'Is she with me for me or the money?'. As an example one thing I did as an experiment on two dating sites. I posted two profiles. Everything was exactly the same except about my job. On one I told the truth and on the other I scaled it way down. The number of hits I got beared out my suspicions. Yes, women are more attracted if your better off financially. So, if any women tries to play the moral high ground, saying they don't care about money, the're liars. Be wary of any women who makes a comment like that when you are well off within the first couple dates. Thats a huge red flag. But then again we as guys don't want a 300 pound pig either. So in a sense we are guilty too. But at least we are more honest about it. For a women its a lot easier for them to make themselves more attractive than it is for us to do what ever to make more money. All they have to do is not eat so much. In a few months most women can make a huge difference in their appearance.

Back to the web sites for a moment. One thing that jumped out at me was the ones that were devoted to the former USSR. The number of times I got hit up for money was insane. About 50% of those that contacted me were not shy about asking for money in one form or another. I only say that because yours was from that area. Granted, those women are sooo attractive but I abandoned that idea. Too risky. Another problem was language. I do agree with what one women said. You gotta be able to talk to them. Their english ability was marginal at best for most of them. That is something that can't be compinsated for no matter how hot she looks.
It can also be used as a weapon against you. If she can't communicate clearly she can use that as a shield to protect herself from being caught. On the flip side they need someone they can talk to as well. How many women do you know that are silent? Ive never seen such a creature. (lol)

Ive been down the Isle a couple times. The most recent one tried to have me ***ped off about a year or so before I filed for divorce. Luckily for the clown of a boyfriend she had he didn't actually try anything. I did end up getting a 1911 just in case since Im familiar with it. But it goes to show what some people will do in the name of money or whatever it is they are after if their intentions are evil. But in one sense your lucky. My experience has been that the more you have the more vicous they become when they turn on you.

I can't say for sure if a women who does things like this is that way naturally or they become that due to events that happen. In your case can you think back on anything that was a red flag months before things went south. Hind sight is always 20/20. Some things Ive seen is that if a women comes here from another country they sometimes become too americanized. They see some BS about career and better life , yada yada, and they take it to heart not realizing its nothing more than advertising buzz. For those that do find it its quickly realized that its not that big a deal.

Now to the point. I see you poring out your heart here and it shows if nothing else that we as men have feelings as well. My current girlfriend told me something that I beleive is very true. Women are stronger than men emotionally. Its true and all women over 25 know this. Although they cry during romantic movies or are more prone to show emotion than we are but.. They are far better at controlling them when they need to than we are. One thing to be careful of is she will probably try to use it against you. if she contacts you be ware she will be doing it soley for some benefit. I can guarantee it will happen if there is anything you do that threatens the lifestyle she wants. This is one time you do need to be practical and just keep in mind what she did when you were vulnerable. Think of it this way. You will need to have something to offer your next wife. Don't let this one deny your next one what is rightfully hers. Next time might be the right one.

Of all the women Ive dated I think the best ones are the home grown ones. Or at least the ones that have been here for a while if they are from over seas. Its best not to import one since the adjustment can be traumatic and what you end up with is nothing like what you started with. Even then, get a prenupt!!

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Of all the women Ive dated I think the best ones are the home grown ones. Or at least the ones that have been here for a while if they are from over seas. Its best not to import one since the adjustment can be traumatic and what you end up with is nothing like what you started with. Even then, get a prenupt!!

This was the only statement out of your post I could agree with. I truly believe men and women must be from different planets. I believe we are locked so tight in a competition battle between the sexes anymore, it's impossible to have the kind of loving relationships that our forefathers (and foremothers) enjoyed. It's really sad how men and women treat each other anymore. Enough said.

Dear Maj,
Hi, I actually just read what happened to you and I must say that I am so very very sorry. You sound like a wonderful person, giving, supportive and kind. i know that God has a plan for you and it is a good plan. Sometimes in the depth of our disparity we don't realize that we are being formed into something great! I was really screwed over not by an immigrant, but by a genuine US citizen, and I tell you, I thought I would never "get over it". He was my first love (I am a woman....) and I gave him everything, similar to how you treated your ex wife. After 3 years, I was left with a horrible broken heart, and I thought it would nEVER heal or get better! Looking back, those were some of the darkest moments of my life, but I am only looking now, without feeling the pain I once did. I actually ended up meeting my husband (about ten years later) and I am quite happy. I don't even remeber the pain of the past, but I can remeber the experience to share with you and let you know that it will get better. I am sharing this with you because I want to give you hope for a brighter tomorrow. It WILL get better, I promise, but move on and do things for you for once. Take care of you, start feeling good about you and you will attract people who will treat you how you deserve to be treated. Thank you for sharing your story, I believe you will help alot of people who need your help and you will be able to understand the pain that others feel. Look up and never give up!!

quote:

The number of hits I got beared out my suspicions. Yes, women are more attracted if your better off financially. So, if any women tries to play the moral high ground, saying they don't care about money, the're liars. Be wary of any women who makes a comment like that when you are well off within the first couple

Hey Davdah, I am a woman and I don't care about money
<-----no lie