Maj,
No I don't know your ex-wife personally. But I do know a lot of girls that came to this country the way she did. You can't blame them for seeking a better life and taking chances!
And why would you think she didn't love you at least at one point? I would really feel sorry for her if she didn't; How hard it would be for someone to live with and sleep with someone you despise? That must be really hard to do for over 3 years. Didn't you have a beautiful wife next to your for all that time? You couldn't find the match here, right? Right.

I bet you, like most of the guys, rub what you've done for her too many times in her face. Don't deny it. The truth is - you can't live under the pressure of being grateful to someone.

When you are taking all the credit for what she achieved here - it is not right from my point of view. It was she, who learned English and how to drive and earned her RE license. You didn't install the vocubulary into her head, or auto-drive system, or took the RE exam for her. She did it herself. You might of paid $300 for the exam, but it's just money.

And yes, you are bitter now, but you have to admit that you both had good times during the marriage. But now it's gone. Just like a lot of marriages that don't involve a foreign wife. It happens all the time! And you've lasted for how long?!

I don't take sides in such situations, but I know, revenge is sweet, but it also can consume you and make your life miserable.

Now, annulment based on fraud situation: You have to substantiate your claim. If all you have is your bitterness and how much money you spent on her, and your verbal accusation that she married you for the status - you'll lose.
The annulment based on fraud is rarely granted. It should go to the core of the marriage institution. Basically, you have to validate your statement that she entered into marriage under the false pretense - just to gain the immigration status. Now, how are you going to prove it? You have to question the professionalism of at least 2 immigration officers that interviewed both of you twice within 3 years and believed the statements. It will be easy for her attorney to subpoena them and the video-record of the interview. What will happen in the court - they'll make a statement - AGAINST you. Or, they might agree that you pulled the vail over their eyes during the interview and committed fraud. BOTH of you. And check out the punishment for the US Citizen engaged in fraud. You might end up leaving the annulment hearing in handcuffs.

So, think about it and do some major research before you do something you might regret.

Your question if there is justice in this country. There is none, if it concerns the feelings and broken hearts..:-))

quote:

I feel your pain but money cannot buy love, which is what you probably what you tried to do. You're still in love with this woman which is normal. Next time, don't fall in love with a woman you can't communicate with in English.

Hey dumb butt, I married a woman from Argentina who spoke the same native language I do (I'm from Puerto Rico) and she still tried to screw me over anyway too!

So see, Green Card only marriages go beyond language and/or love.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dmartmar,

Hi dmartmar,

That QT is from my perspective another one of those "User Women" who I have no doubt has a bloodied ex-husband in her closet. These women "Eat Their Mates" and have a lot of experience and help doing so. Everything this character/human being?? said was a perfect example of how they mix truth with lies just enough to confuse and obscure the truth so women like them can get away with the crimes they commit. One example is that I spent many days and hours and weeks and months personally writing and tutoring and helping my wife through everything from learning English to getting her real estate license. I did without many basic things so my wife could have jewelry and expensive clothes and parties, all so she could keep up with her girlfriends that had married richer men. The list of abouse is so long that the term "Love is blind" is the only excuse I could have for not seeing what a horrible user my Belarussian wife was and is.

This QT says I might be led away in handcuffs if I convince the court that my wife was lying at the Immigration Interviews; I was not lying, I was hoping and making excuses for her.

Well, I am not going to anymore and women like her and I suspect this QT need to be drug into the light of day and exposed for what they are: Liars, Users, Cheaters, Decievers and Betrayers. The only people they can do their scams on are people who love them, who make excuses for them, who are so blinded by the their sexual desire and hopes that they allow themselves to be used.

My beautiful Belarussian Wife was a widow; she told me he committed suicide at 32 because of a disease he had...I have since heard that it was beacuse he had left him. I too considered dying...so yes, us men have problems with how we love and how we hurt when these women betray us.

I am sure I did not lie at any point of the immigration process and that she did. This is all going to become very nasty, I am sure, but now I am waking up and realize what criminals these people are and how the only answer is to have all the facts come out. If the courts are still where justice is all important, my marriage will be annulled.

As for you QT. If you are not a Female who has divorced her husband...if you are not a Female who has helped other women do to me what my wife is trying to do to me..if you are not a ***** who has gone from one man to the next, promising love and committment and that you would never betray this man and that man and then man...... well, you are, I have no doubt about it.

Yes, I am angry and yes I think QT and all women like her and my soon to be ex should be treated for what they really are...schemers, liars, cheats and thieves.

I would say more, but I am too angry at this moment.

Thanks again for your encouragement and support dmartmar.

Both annulment and divorce to me are the same. It's like the same dog wearing different collars. Since divorce is not allowed in some churches like the Catholic Church, they came up with annulment. They all mean the same thing: separation between husband and wife. If faithful church goers and members truly want to follow God's teaching, they should not even consider annulment. If the church thinks she can get away with it by coming with a smart legal term to replace divorce that's illegal in some countries, they are mistaken. That's my take. You guys don't have to agree with me.

Macyuhoo,

I appreciate and agree with what you say about Divorce and Annulment being the same thing in many ways. In my heart, this woman was my wife and I would do anything to heal the wounds and forgive the betrayal...what wouldn't and shouldn't a husband forgive of his wife? However, in my case, my wife planned with her girlfriend(s) to come here, find a husband, get legal, take what she could get and dump me; all of which she did methodically, right down to leaving me right after her Perm Green Card was approved. She has refused any counseling, any attempt to reconcil or even see if there was hope for the marriage, while I would do anything to make us right. If this situation was not covered by Marriage, it would be viewed as Premeditated Fraud and Theft, as I spent a great deal of time, effort and money based upon her representations and promises that she loved me and wanted tro make a life with me. Instead, she rarely worked, spent money and ran me deep into debt, waited until she got her son here and got "Legal" then executed me like some kind of mercenary murderer.

I would like to beleive God is watching and that all the things she has done and is doing, including any wrong I may have done, will come full circle and be accounted for. Meantime, this woman is trying to dump her credit cards on me, get spousal support, attorney fees and medical insurance while she is out looking for her rich man/next victim. What am I supposed to do? Be a party and support for such behavior?

There are many women like this; it goes much much deeper than just Green Card Sweethearts and I for one can not live with the lives and abuse. I am going to have to have a court tell me what is right and what is wrong.

Yes, I married this woman and in my mind she is my wife and I would do anything to protect her, including laying down my life, but she is not my wife...she has not acted like my wife and contrary to what QT said, she slept with me and played the part of wife not because she loved me, not because she wanted the realtionship to work, but to get what she wanted. To live at the beach and party, which is what she is doing now.

I could go into details about her behavior, but I am telling you that this woman is very dark and by any standard a criminal, but then, I think many women and men are who do these kind of things to their spouses.

It is a mess, I see this, but it goes to the heart of the evil man does to man, or in this case, woman does to man.

I went to see our Priest, wept to him for over an hour telling him what happened. He says it happens alot. He called her and her parents in Belarus, she refused to return his call. Why? Because she doesn't want the truth known. She wants to quietly get away with this and no one to know. She wants to lie about what a horrible man and husband I am..especially to her next victim. It is hard to beleive there are people who just use people, who don't want to work, don't want to be good to those who are good to them...it's hard to beleive, but it happens..it happened to me.

I have no doubt that if I had not been such a good husband and had given her the opportunity, she would have cut the marriage even shorter and pursued "Abused Women" remedies provided for by Immigration, but there was no abuse, just me running my *** off to make her and her son happy.

I wish God would help me, but it appears I am going to have to help myself. Divorce should not be allowed so easily, couples should be required tro go to counseling and make every effort to make marriages work, especially where so much is involved related to obtaining a Green Card, but PEOPLE, betrayers want easy divorces...blame them.

Thanks for your interest and comment.

Well-well-well,
MJ, unfortunately, some people never change. You sure saw some signs prior to your marriage to her, but the love/obsession is blind. But, according to your posts, you have no idea what love is. When you love someone, you don't hurt them and you don't fry your sole on a burner of anger.

It sure is up to you what to do next about your life. But, unfortunately, you getting blinded with rage right now. Administrator of this forum has to notify the authorities in regards to your emotional instability that might be harmful to other people.

And that will be my last post on this subject.

Ironically, you are the sick one. Me, I am a human being trying to live with what is the most horrible experience of my life.

Women like you...and I point out that you never denied it...are an abomination and it is time people spoke out for the evil you perpetuate, to say nothing of being the cause of, as I am also sure you have an ex-husband you ripped apart somewhere.

You are an abomination in my book and all here should read closely and decide for themselves.

Yes, I need therapy and a good attoney.

quote:

Originally posted by QT:

How hard it would be for someone to live with and sleep with someone you despise? That must be really hard to do for over 3 years.

Not all that difficult for the so-motivated, I'd suspect.

quote:

Originally posted by QT:
Or, they might agree that you pulled the vail over their eyes during the interview and committed fraud. BOTH of you. And check out the punishment for the US Citizen engaged in fraud. You might end up leaving the annulment hearing in handcuffs.

Not true at all. There are plenty of cases of US citizens being deceived into marriage, without being party to fraud themselves.

Sappy, agree. I always have trouble communicating with imported brides (sorry if i offend anyone by this term). And yes, I don't trust them a bit. They already sold themselves short and they can do the same to all other people they know. Believe me, I've heard it all from drunken unhappy wives pouring their hearts out.

And yes, I agree that there are a lot of people deceived into marriage, but we are not talking about them right now, but of this particular case.

And, Maj, you might want to educate yourself on internet laws in regards to screaming out your offenses without disclosing your true name..:-)
Unfortunately, I don't have to prove you anything or get into an argument with you. Your problem is really beyong the scope of the immigration forum. You let yourself get to the point where you detest everyone and everything who doesn't pat on your shoulder. I've been there myself and know how it feels, but I got over it.

Remember, what goes around, comes around. Funny how it happens - my ex is hiding out in another country, where he is trying to marry someone for status... because he is ... illegal there...LOL

Educate myself? I have done nothing but shared what has and is happening to me and reacted to those who grasped and empathized with my nightmare...and where you are concerned, reacted to your sick justifications and explainations for how and why another human being could/would/might treat another human being as I have been treated.

I know how much I loved and cared for this woman. I know the width and breath of my commitment and efforts to make a new and wonderful life with and for her and her son. If I was a liar, I would not be so hurt and need to be heard, nor would what I think and feel be so expressed without vineers and facades.

My heart, soul and life have been rapped. We hear plenty of women talk and expend many resources over their rape that took a few moments, but little about us men who work and slave and love and give and do for, only to be betrayed and learn that they were being used.

For my part, I would have preferred she gave me poison instead of sleeping pills to awake to face the realities of what my love, hopes and dreams really meant to her. I am a piece of trash to her, used and thrown away..her marriage vows meant nothing. Anyone who does not get this and how evil it is, is one of them, as far as I am concerned, particularly anyone who would justify such behavior. So wrong is what was done to me that if she finds a new and happy life after using me as she did, I am left questioning whether or not there is a God, but if there is, he/she/it has seen all of this and I pray will do something about it.

I am not going to reherse and gleen my responses for you, nor do I hide may name..it's Jim.

I remind all of their Marriage Vows and contrary to the laws that make them nothing, I meant mine.

Screaming? Yes, you **** right. I am 52 years old now and have little chance of love and trust and all the things I once had before I met her. She has ruined me and I won't have enough youth and heart to try again...you **** right I am screaming.

However, exchanging this with you is a waste, I am sharing so openly both for me and those like me whose life have been harmed by one of these Green Card Vipers.

Thank you for owning up to being a woman, I never had any doubt about it, as only a woman could justify what has been done to me, as you have and you may be sure I have a great deal of contempt and offense for it.

I am not a liar, a cheat, thief or betrayer.. I loved my wife and beleive she was the answer to my prayers. I gave all I had and am now bankrupted both financially and emotonally, but not dead yet and if there is still justice in this land...well, time will tell.

Woman hater? I never thought so, but when I look back over my life and relationships, I must admit that the same beings that could abort their chrildren, cheat and betray their husbands and a long list of horrors, are who I chose to love. Some say women have no souls...not a very popular thought, but something I truly question now and wonder if it was ever men behind all the evil in the world. It is a big question.

The Webmaster is welcome to do as he/she sees fit; I ahve only told my plight and responded sincerely.

I myself am not a very religious person. But in our plans and decisions, let's all be guided by God's teachings. And His teachings are written in the Bible. In the Book of Malachi, God says He hates divorce.

Yes, he hates divorce...I do too.

I read my bible and pray everyday over this.

The truth is I would rather have layed my life down for her and my love for her and the boy then to be slowly murdered, only to realize it was the one I loved doing the murdering.

God help me.. I am trying to find my way.

sappyconifer,

Thank you for saying the obvious. I never lied to INS but she did, to me and INS.

There will come a time when she will have to defend what she has done and it should be a simple question: Is she lying now about the marriage or then, when she was a smiling, loving wife at the Perm Green Card Conditions Removal Hearing.

I want the truth, whatever the truth is, to come out and if I did something wrong, the punishment would be better than living out my life beleiving I was a victim. Frankly, I would be better off if I knew I was a bad husband and deserved what she has done. That sounds strange but is from my heart.

I could never sleep and be with anyone that I didn't care about...I couldn't get it up, but women...they can do it all and dispise the one theor with. Think about it...it's evil.

quote:

Originally posted by QT:
Sappy, agree. ...
And yes, I agree that there are a lot of people deceived into marriage, but we are not talking about them right now, but of this particular case.

And this case just might be one of them.....
I sense that you are dismissing that as a possibility, and I think that is unfair.

[/QUOTE]
And this case just might be one of them.....
I sense that you are dismissing that as a possibility, and I think that is unfair.[/QUOTE]

I've been working with DV (victims and abuses) for a while now, and I've learned to read between the lines. Nothing is cut and paste, especially when there is a major age and cultural differrence between the former spouses.

It's not always about the words. It's a choice of words, structure of the statement and emotional projection. That's why I keep indicating that VAWA adjudicators are specially selected and trained to process such claims..:-)

I don't work for immigration and I am not giving any legal advice or consultation. It's my opinion only.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: QT,

quote:

Originally posted by QT:

And this case just might be one of them.....
I sense that you are dismissing that as a possibility, and I think that is unfair.

I've been working with DV (victims and abuses) for a while now, and I've learned to read between the lines. Nothing is cut and paste, especially when there is a major age and cultural differrence between the former spouses.

It's not always about the words. It's a choice of words, structure of the statement and emotional projection. That's why I keep indicating that VAWA adjudicators are specially selected and trained to process such claims..:-)

I don't work for immigration and I am not giving any legal advice or consultation. It's my opinion only.

Sorry, but I am experiencing a disconnect! In terms of the OP's situation and the current discussion (marriage by deception) what does that have to do with DV victims and abusers?

We've only heard one side of the story, I'll admit, but without the other and an allegation of abuse from the alien spouse, why are you slipping that in here? I can see good reason for MajKarma to be devastated. Frankly, for you, QT, to assess his state of mind and conclude that it is maladjusted is also lacking in compassion and empathy. I don't read anything that is anywhere near rage. I read that he is resolute in his desire to see that the person that betrayed him not be able to get away with it, without answering to a higher order.

Sappyconifer,

My best friend of 20 years asked me why I would spill my guts here, amongst people I don't know; you and a few others grasp what I am saying and what it is doing to me...that is why and here may be the only ears to hear me, besides maybe God.

I don't want a divorce.. I want love and kisses and to fulfill her and the boy's every hope and dream. I was there for them, but it wasn't enough...they didn't want a husband..a father..they want to live at the beach and have fun, which is what they are doing...the Russians are always having parties and there are always men.

No, I don't want a Divorce, I want my wife to love me and be my wife as I was her husband.

But that choice has been taken from me..taken without explaination or the possibity of reprieve. If I were a criminal, at least I would so day get paroled..but here with her, I am cast off without regard...let to what, I have no idea since they were my life.

My seeking an Annulment is probably a stupid idea at having the truth of what was done out in the open..a stupid attempt at being okay and not feeling the victim, but I am and there is no changing that...it's like rape and murder, it can't be undone.

I miss her and the boy very much..I was telling the truth when I said I wish she had given me poison instead of sleeping pills..but now I am past that and while I am sure she knew and knows what she did might kill me, she has distanced herself enough to finish me off without feeling much...finish our bond and memories and promises to one another.

What can I say?

As for that Abuse Advocate, she is a sexist and hypocrite...if I was a woman, she'd be right there for me. Instead, she takes the side of evil, of divorce, of people being justified betraying whomever for whatever reason. Personally, such women scare me, they are so good at twisting the truth, using the laws and systems to their own ends. I heard her clearly and haver no doubt there are more than just a bloodied husband in her closet...there is probably a line around the block.

Bitterness is better than tears, ranting and raving is better than letting this eat me up from inside...because you see.. I was and probably still am in love with my wife..my Cosack...my Belarussian beauty.. I miss her voice and face and prsense in my life.

what else

Here ya go, Sappy:

First of all, lets look at the definition of the word "betrayal". To betray means
betray |biˈtrā| verb [] be disloyal to;
be disloyal to (one's country, organization, or ideology) by acting in the interests of an enemy ;
treacherously inform an enemy of the existence or location of (a person or organization);
treacherously reveal (secrets or information); figurative reveal the presence of;
be evidence of.

So, how that word you use to measure the failed marriage you were not the part is related to law and constitution?

Bottom line, when you look for accusation, you have to carefully choose the wording, not to let your client be slammed and dunked. Unless, you stick to cold-blooded facts, you won't have a chance to stand in trial.

MJ, I am out of my patience, visitng this thread. I would chanrge you either the fee of the therapist or the lawyer to listem to your crying. SNAP OUT OF IT. At your age you should be better than that. And yes, alot of abused women (AND FAKES who I kick out of the door right away) seek the information from me. That's why I am exposed to both sides of the story.

Now,
1. You are 52. She is... in her what, 30's?
2. You live in Riverside. She wants to live near the Ocean.
3. Her son does NOT like you anymore, neither does she.
4. Bitterness is NOT better than tears. Get a bottle of boose and cry your heart out over it. You'll wake up in the morning and figure out what hurts more - hangover or being dumped.
5. I know too many of the bitter ex-husbands in their 50's who couldn't find anyone here, in US to fill the empty space in their life. Most of them have 8-5 jobs, rent apartments, have no retirement savings, and pay child/spouse support to their last family.
6. They go to Russia (or?) to get "real" (meaning submissive) women who would be with them no matter what and who they are. They forget that these women are different from the "real" ones, who don't need to look for the husband abroad - there are plenty of guys like you living from pay check to another one back at home!

What that means is - you marry the opportunitist by measuring up how much it would cost you to have a wife and invest maybe a couple of K's into her, instead of hitting the hookers or having blue b*** for the rest of your wife. Not difficult to do the math - it's cheaper to marry. Just break down the days you spent feeling that you are a worthy man coming home to a young, beautiful wife and calculate how much that would be against going on dates at least once a month within the same period of time?

Again, marrying - bartering is a cheaper option. That's why it is so popular... :-)

Yes, I can't stand either side. I've met hundreds of those "couples" and I can make a fortune if I have a chance of making bets on what happens to majority of them.

K, I am out of here ~

I am 52, she is 38. I met her here while on a tourist Visa. I did everything I could to pamper and nurture the boy. The beach was never mentioned, I would have worked to move us there. Everything was fine the month before when we went to INS .. My income and job were fine for them and fine for her from all accounts at the time.


What is it with you lady? I am 6'4" 200, athletic, well educated and no frog by any accounts.

An you QT are a perfect example of how horrible women can be. You are also full of it. God, you make sick!!!

...and I have never considered being with a hooker but now I see what trash I have been exchanging rhetoric with. What would you know about normal human being QT ? What do you know about except people who do these kind of thing. You really are a bottome feeder, I just didn't know how low until you came out with that trash.. gutter trash.