Edited for fear of the crazy.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BrianBenson,

You got a whole bunch of issues going on.
The big question to ask is are you willing to toss it out the window at this point. From what you wrote it sounds like the biggest problem between the two of you is communication. Is her English skills proficient or marginal? One thing you need to understand is your not dealing with someone who can 'say' whats on their mind easily. Often things get confused when English is not the first language.

There is a lot that could be said about why she grabbed what she did. It could be what you suspect or it could have been based on fear. If you guys have had fights before she may have thought you would toss her into the street and figured she better have some preperation if that happens. Any number of scenerios could apply.

You can't completely condemn her as a BAD girl since you were a willing participant in those tapes also. At this moment you sound very upset so first things first is to calm down and get a grip and think this through.

Since you invested so much time, energy, etc into this it might be better to get some professional help first. A family therapist, not a family law attorney just yet. Give each of you some cool off time and then approach her with that idea. If you would rather salvage it make sure that is the theme of your next conversation.

At 25, you shouldn't be living with mama, taking expensive vacations and wasting mama's money, especially with your new bride at your side. She may have some issues, but it certainly sounds like you do as well, possibly even some paranoia.
Cut the apron strings, branch out on your own and do some growing up.

I fully concur with davdah on this, but on the legal representation, I would make sure you spoke with an attorney who knew BOTH family law and immigration law. It's unclear from the original message whether this happened or not.

In my area, only a small percentage of attorneys expressly deal with immigration law--and I don't know ANY immigration lawyers in my county. If there's a lack of immigration expertise, this could explain part of the confusion you may be experiencing, even after consulting with multiple counsel.

When did you file for an annullment or divorce and get her served? An annullment for fraud would be better.

If you dare say, at this point, that you have not done so, then you are so utterly stupid and beyond help, then we will refuse to help you and you will get what you deserve. eos.

Needhelp made another good point. Although there are plenty of people living with their parents at your age. It still causes a lof of friction with your relationship. Two women in the same house. A recipe for disaster. Every women wants her own nest. She even said it. She wants her own place. Not an unreasonable request. I would be willing to bet she would trade the vacations for the privacy you guys didn't have. Not coming down on you but you need to make some adjustments to fix this before it gets too far gone.

Whatever you do do not put yourself in position to be set up on false domestic charges. Often times women in her position lure their husbands back into "reconciling" only to dial 911 on them. They wait until the husband is sitting down relaxing. Then they go into another room dial 911, inflict some wounds (scratches and bruises) over turn some furniture etc. They do this of course to add to their packet they send to the USCIS in Vermont. The USCIS calls police reports, photos of wounds, medical certificates from the hospital emergency, affidavits from arresting officers and restraining orders signed by a judge as "primary evidence" of abuse. Some of these women needing these things get carried away and claim rape and all sorts of wild things.

Somebody upthread advised about getting a lawyer that knows immigration as well as family law. Good idea. One area overlaps the other but most family law attorneys do not know this. The best place to find an attorney that knows both is by recomendation from an immigration attorney. Also it would be a good idea to find an attorney that knows how to defend against domestic violence charges. At least know who he/she is. I would advise a counciling visit and explain your situation so if that day ever comes you can act quickly. The domestic violence courts give a guy little time to prepare their defence or find an attorney. They say it's this way to protect the women but I believe it is so because they know that a rush to judgement by the prosecutor puts them at an advantage.

Keep your head down, prepare for the worst and good luck. If you are smart you can minimise the damage.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: max-one,

From what I understand from his post, he has not even filed for annullment yet. You can't help people like this. Lets write him off as a lost cause.

I don't think a scam was her intent. Based on what he said when she gave him the ultimatum about getting their own place. That is very important to any women assuming the intent to make a family home. If she just wanted the GC it would not have been an issue who was in the house. Ask your wives how they would feel about your mother moving in with you for a couple years. I don't think there is a scam here. Just some frustrations and unrealized expectations.

Whether it is a scam or not or whether to file an annulment or not this guy is most likely in a dangerous position if his wife needs a Green card. Guys get all soft and sentimental at these times but the women always keep in mind their need to maintain their immigration status. If she has a boyfriend then his danger is doubled. Same if she has parents or children to worry about if her immigration status is put in jeapordy (sp) because the marriage is flying apart.

To me the wife should go where ever the

husbands takes her, besides didn't she know

from the begining the guy lived with his

mom.Marriages like this just put in doubt the

real ones!!

In most of these countries, there are 10, 20, even 30 people living in cramped apartments with 3 and 4 generations of families.

A sincere marriage is for better or for worse; through good and bad times; the struggles and triumphs and UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART !

STOP MARRIAGE FRAUD !

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND RUSSIAN L E S B I A N S AND NO ONE ELSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sonof - you are 45 years old and need to grow up! My God - why do you post this stuff on the board. Who cares about les bian sisters? What a primate you are!

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: BrianBenson,

So much for the language argument. I can only assume you want to end this relationship from what your saying.

If she has a lawyer they may already be setting things up. If she has no 'real' abuse evidence then your probably ok as long as you keep your distance and only see her in a very public place if at all. That is assuming the divorce is already under way. Her parents will probably help her with the abuse story. But since the police were there already that should help your situation. Assuming neither you or your mom were cuffed.

The lesson learned is never marry a women who makes ****o videos. Think of it this way. What would you think of your sister if she did that? Same applies to all women.

If she doesn't have her green card then you will probably want to get in contact with USCIS and withdraw your petitions. If she has someone else she will be in a hurry to finish the divorce so the other vilage idiot can marry her and become her sponsor.

I hope everything works out okay, BrianBenson. That tire cut looks like it was made with a sledge hammer!

I hope, in your state of mind, you can stay on top of this. If you, if fact, never abused her, then I hope you and your lawyer can prove otherwise. She sounds like a nutcase, in my opinion. Just something to think about. A woman rarely leaves a man unless there is serious abuse or another man is involved. If your case is not the former, you might want to hire a detective for a short period of time to get proof of the other man. Then, if she files abuse, her case will be pretty weak. Good luck.

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: BrianBenson,

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: BrianBenson,

how long have you all been married for?

What a moron. Thats all I have to say. He hasnt even filed for divorce. I am not even married yet and I already have my divorce papers ready.