Sprint was the wife here an alien? LMAO!

just kiddin!!!

REMENBER! There was No Mention Of The Hubby Providing That Awesome Mental and physical massage bath! Weather intentions Where Temporary? Or Long Term Forever and Always??? The hubby Tried! Was It the Lack Of Humor? "due To The lack Of masculinity?" Or The Lack Of Providing Louie Baton Gifts?" Good times And Bad Baby! Takes 2 To Prevail! Did One Give Up???? Ending The Forever and Always?????

LOL Speed


Dcw..what are you on? lol

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to New York. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 a night for doing what I do for you for free."
A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he is going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a Particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping ", the homeless woman said.” I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money.

Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine!"

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts...
Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.

He looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don't think so.

Fine, then the wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right.

To which he replied, fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so.

Fine, she says, then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.

I'm not a damm carpenter and I don't want to fix steps. He says does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!.

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours..

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decided to go home. As he walks into the the house he notices that the steps are already fixed. Ad he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how'd all this get fixed?

She said, well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

He said, so what kind of cake did you bake?.

She replied, Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? I don't think so!.

LOL!! Okay, Sprint, I guess we both have insomnia tonight?

Oh yeah you are up late just realised!
I think I am overtired now, and suddenly got a boost of energy lol

Believe me - I'd rather be sleeping - lol. I would like to remind everyone here who is thinking about having kids to STOP - lol!!!!

Dictionary for men and women...

Women's English

Yes = No
No = yes
maybe = no
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = you better not
Do what you want = you will pay for later
I am not upset = of course I am upset!

You're very attentive
tonight = is s** all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have *** now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have ***?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have *** with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have *** with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have *** with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have *** with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm g*y

ain't it amazing what men's brain is lol!
sometimes I think they marry to get it ( s-x)+
daily lol!

Lmao Speed..(i agree ssh)

quote:

Originally posted by ProudUSC:
Believe me - I'd rather be sleeping - lol. I would like to remind everyone here who is thinking about having kids to STOP - lol!!!!

I could not stop ,I think my wife is pregant again!

quote:

Originally posted by speed_025:
ain't it amazing what men's brain is lol!
sometimes I think they marry to get it ( s-x)+
daily lol!

i think you are right,how about women?I think we are so differnt .for us men S-x is like 95% in our brains ,I wonder why is that?when I got married I thought women were the same but I got dissappointed on that but I learned so much more.You see that is a good thing If women were like us ,couples would not talk ,not know each other .It is sad because when a women is talking we are just thinking when is she gong to stop so we can finally have s-x.so we pretend to be listening but we are just waiting for that moment.when it comes it last so little because we have been there for so long waiting.Dont get me wrong I was like that with time I learned and took time to listen and understand my wife and see things from her side not just my side.It took some time!

quote:

Originally posted by Fredy:

quote:

Originally posted by speed_025:
ain't it amazing what men's brain is lol!
sometimes I think they marry to get it ( s-x)+
daily lol!

i think you are right,how about women?I think we are so differnt .for us men S-x is like 95% in our brains ,I wonder why is that?when I got married I thought women were the same but I got dissappointed on that but I learned so much more.You see that is a good thing If women were like us ,couples would not talk ,not know each other .It is sad because when a women is talking we are just thinking when is she gong to stop so we can finally have s-x.so we pretend to be listening but we are just waiting for that moment.when it comes it last so little because we have been there for so long waiting.Dont get me wrong I was like that with time I learned and took time to listen and understand my wife and see things from her side not just my side.It took some time!

LOl Fredy! Very true! lol

Some of us women even talk during those special moments lol

Lol - Sprint!!! Yes, some of us can never shut up!!!

LOL Mind you for me, probably that is the only time I don't talk lmao

LOL!...talking and not talking? what all talking about.

During those special moments, CMan - lol! You know? Pillow talk - lol! I've been known to tell a joke or two - lol!!!! Just to keep things entertaining - always the clown - lol!