I came here in US as a fiancee visa.We got married before the expiration of my visa.until now i'm alredy 9 months married with him he didn't process yet my papers which i'm begging to him to please process my papers so that i can find a job.Please help me if what i'm going to do for the reason that i can find a job and not just staying inside his house with o friends allowed and without giving any key of the house.Thank you for your help.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: skydelle,
Sounds to me like he is a "bad" person for you? He wouldn't give you the keys to the house? (you have to BEG him to do the papers?) ????? ???????????????? Well...I guess you have to figure out first if he loves you. A person who loves you would not do things you describe, in my opinion. .... What can I say? .... Lots of luck. I hope you will find a way to solve your situation. I can't jump to conclusions and tell you that you have to do this when the situation seems kind of complicated(and not so detailed). I hope you will make it, on all levels, in all the fields. ps: i wish i could add here what i really wanna say, but i do not think i have the right to. You can figure it out. I am sure you can do it. Noone can give you a vbetter advice than you can give yourself, in this situation. I hope you understand what i am trying to say. I wish you lots of luck. Happy Holidays.
Thank you very much and i appreciated it.Well,i keep on begging on him but he still keep on promising but he's not doing.Do you think i'm right if i will go to the welfare and stay there for the reason that i'm not happy here.Once again thank you very much.
This guy seems to be really bad. It's not safe and I believe it is considered illegal to leave someone locked in a residence like you say you are.
Don't you have any friend here?
Does he commit other types of abuse, verbal or physical?
I think you should say a bit more for people to be able to help you.
I am a victim of domestic violence and I can tell you what I have learned. I was never locked in, but I didn't know what to do either.
I searched for information going to the police. I talked to officers without filing any report and they gave me information about shelters and restraining order.
Thank you for your help.Yes he did also and i have a medical or doctor report.And he keep it same as my vaccination record and birth certificate.I told him that he will give me back those papers but he just ignoring me. I live here in sacramento,ca.Thanks
Thank you JohnDoe for the information you are giving her.
Skydelle, Since you can't leave your residence to go to the police. You must call the Domestic Violence Hotline. There is also one Hotline for California. They may give you orientation on how to act, information about shelters, and legal institutions too.
Start acting to protect yourself as soon as you can. You came with a fiance visa, and VAWA can help you to get a permanent residence.
Don't be naive. Act fast. Bad guys like this will NOT improve.
Below you find some information that may help you.
California Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-524-4765
Shelter in Sacramento http://www.weaveinc.org/
http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/ca.shtml
Safe at Home - They are in Sacramento - http://www.ss.ca.gov/safeathome/Safe_at_Home_Domestic_Violence_Links.html
Sad that a person that is a firefighter would do such thing to a woman. Especially when firefighters are almost worshiped like Gods and super heroes. Oh well there are strange folks all over the place.
Follow up on the links that was posted to you and hang in there.
You and also download the forms that is required for change of status and fill them out as best as you can and then put them in front of him and ask him if he can help you with the rest. That is of course if he isn't physically abusive to you. Your problem is a well known problem and you are not alone. They had a thing about your situation and similar on NPR last week.
I am not far from where you are. I live a hour south of you and will visit your town on Tuesday to visit with the folks at USCIS to inquire why they haven't sent me a reciept or anything yet one month after they recieved my paperwork for change of status.
I would like to express my gratitude thanks to all of you for helping me and giving me moral support.I'm hoping that everthing will be ok.Once again thank you.
I think you need to learn a lot about your situation, and look for support in your city.
You need to have the key of your place, otherwise you will never improve. You are a hostage. I am sorry!
When you feel that your husband is going to be or is violent towards you, get the telephone and dial 911. Your telephone will be registered.
He disappeared with the doctor's report because it is a proof of his violence.
Nobody deserves this. It may take time for you to decide to leave your husband, but alone you may not improve your situation. Professional support is very important in your case.
Don't only hope that things will be OK. You need to have friends, a job, to study, have a healthy life.
I wish you stop allowing your husband to treat you like this. I have met a family in the US whose husband kept the wife hostage, and after she had children, the children became hostages too.
It seems that we have the same situation. Try to figure it out! Right now I'm trying to figure out what I should do in order to work "my own papers". I've been married with him for 2 years and still begging for my papers to work but it seems that he doesn't want and not willing to do so. For two years of begging all I got is a fake SSN and fake greencard wherein the cost is not much if he just had worked my papers. All I know is as soon as I figure out about my Working papers I'm ready to leave him. I know I can find a good job here in US because I got a Bachelor's Degree. Hope to hear from you again. Try to get in touch with your friends who lives here in US they might help you! Also just us our other friend said, try to figure out he really loves you....
Hi skydelle, I am sorry i haven't answered back in a while, due to the fact that i haven't visited this site for some time. First: You're welcome ) I am glad i answered your thread first, it looks like my answer caused a lot of responses. I am surprised they haven't seen "that" before i saw "it", i'm glad i noticed it first, but it is great that you were able to get such amazing advice from the "followers". I hope you are feeling better, my wish to you for Christmas is to stay strong and hope that everything will turn to the best for you! I wouldn't advice you to move to a shelter, I would say to do that only after all your options have exhaused. Friends are the best option, old ones or new ones, but who would know that people just can't show in a store and ask for a friend. I wish it was that easy. I hope in my heart that somehow you will manage, without having to turn into a shelter. Better with him, for a while, until you figure out what to do, than in a shelter. This is just an opinion of mine. Wishing you luck and stay strong!
I forgot to say: All those violence hotlines and calling 911 are not as helpful as they seem, UNLESS you are lucky to have the call answered by an extremely kind person who would tell you exactly what to do. Generally they would direct you to call this and that..basic stuff that happens with general hotlines and info lines. Then you end up calling numbers that would give you no info at all, in what to do exactly. That's why "friends" and "connections" would be what you need, to direct you to the right source, including name, etc. As for calling 911, be careful with that. In most cases, the American Citizen is the person that they protect, and not you. In the lucky cases, they would handcuff the american citizen and take him to the station, but that doesn't mean that it would necessarily help you. Keep your head up! Pretend you are happy, put a smile on your face and it may become a reality. That's how powerful the positivity can be. It can become reality!
Hello to everybody and once again expressing my warmest and heartfelt thanks to all of you friends.Those moral support you have given to me.Well,i tried to call those numbers and also tried to go online to checked it.Right now i'm away to my husband and hopefully that the INS will aprroved my application coz i need more evidence.So please help me if what i'm going to do so that i can go with my papers,i mean the VAWA self petition.......i need more advise please...thamks
Thanks for everybody and i need more advice coz i'm afraid that they won't believe me about my situation.I called the police to have a copy from them about my record but they told me that i must have court order.oh so how can i provide those things...thanks
I wish you are in a shelter for battered women. One of the links you had was to WEAVE, an institution that offers shelters, and I believe other services for domestic violence cases. Let us know about that.
I know that ICan'tBeliebeIt thinks a shelter may not be a good idea, but I believe that in your case it is good. I spent a month in a shelter for victims of domestic violence. It is not a hotel, but they help you a lot. You need to follow their norms like not tell anybody where it is located, obey the curfew, etc. It happened with me over three years ago, and throw them I am getting help until today. I am still in therapy, but I am doing well now. They can help people find housing, and jobs too. You only need a shelter for a short period of time. The time you can stay in a shelter for domestic violence is limited. Maybe no more than two months. The proof you were in a shelter will help you with VAWA and with the Restraining Order. Friends are also great, but institutions are more powerful to prove you were abused.
The police officers, I had spoken to, gave me information about where to find an institution that would be preparing the TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) for me, shelters, and even institutions that would help me with immigration. As I told you before, I went to the police and spoke with the officers in charge with the Domestic Violence Division. I believe that in Sacramento they may also have the DV department.
You should also try to get another copy of the medical report he disappeared with. If you go to the hospital with some type of id, you can request a copy. This will be helpful for you to obtain a Restraining Order and to vawa too. First you need the Restraining Order to protect youself. Later you will deal with immigration. Here, the Family Violence Law Center prepared the TRO and the attorney went to Court with me. Yes, you need to go to Court and he will probably be there to. This is why it is good to have an institution and an attorney to represent you. They know what to do.
I know institutions in the Bay Area. In Sacramento I could only find references online. If you can't go to the police at the moment. Try calling some of these numbers below to ask who can prepare the TRO for you:
California Alliance Against Domestic Violence (800) 524-4765 or (916) 444-7163 http://www.caadv.org/
Women Escaping A Violent Environment, Inc. (WEAVE) P.O. Box 161389 Sacramento, CA 95816 (916) 448-2321
Sacramento County District Attorney's Office Domestic Violence Division 901 G Street Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 874-6171 http://www.da.saccounty.net/dv/resources.htm
I hope this will be helpful. I wish you the best. I am sure you will be in a much better situation.
Take care.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Luma,
Thanks a lot Luma but you know i'm staying to my friends house in LA.I called already to weave that i need a copy the proof the i called them,and they told me that they will send a paper to fill up and then send it back to them wtogether with the payment for post.And hopefully they will do it for me.I got also my medical,i got already my marriage certificate thru phone,what i'm waiting for is that from the WEAVE,and i will print all your advises,i mean all your letters here an additional proof,and i'm wiling also to have an interview just in case.Thanks a lot LUMA.
You are welcome, skydelle. I know how scary this whole situation is. I wish you get all the papers and continue safe where you are. You aren't a hostage anymore! I believe it is advisable to go to a support group for battered women. I am sure they have some in LA.
USCIS has a list of free legal service providers:
http://www.usdoj.gov/eoir/probono/freelglchtCA.htm Among these providers I am quite sure the one below will do VAWA.
PUBLIC COUNSEL 601 S. Ardmore Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90005 (213) 385-2977
Once again thank you very much Luma,i called immediately once i read your advise.But i just leave a message coz they are busy.And still waiting the letter from Weave in sacramento and i badly needed that one...and do you think they can help me without those report from WEAVE,all i got ,marriage certificate,proof of address,affidavit of my husband but that was before and i keep it,and the medical from the doctor when i suffered from mastities which he refused to have a follow-up checked.Hopefully they will send me as soon as possible.....Thanks Luma for helping.
I am not an attorney, consequently I don't know much about the legal process. But I am sure that if you go to a support group for battered women it will be very good for you in every sense. First, it will help you to deal with the psychological situation that you have lived. Next, you will have the opportunity to share it with other people and this will make you stronger. You will probably have to sign in every time you go to the support group, and later they will give you a declaration that you had been there. Some places also have psychologists to help you. I have been getting support for over 3 years. You received lots of information about sites and places that deal with domestic violence. You should look for support near where you are.
If you want to communicate with me send me an email to lumaself_actualization@yahoo.com
There are some more information that I can give you, but they aren't related to immigration.
Add to del.icio.us
)