ok guys. what do u think. Is there a self-help Support group out there to help USC who have been "defrauded" by aliens for greencard? If not lets say we start one... the new singles club . they could share their experiences over and over again, put their 50 cents in with 21 questions. I bet in the end they would heal up very fast and probably end up marrying one another. We have already seen how much Mike and Swiss have in common. It could be support for each other. Sound like a plan ok come on now.... who's in.

Hi 4now,
You made me laugh.... all posts i have gone through today...your post was real cute one with deep sense and humor also....actually that's not a bad idea at all...and please do same for alien too... i m in...i am just kidding....
but your idea makes sense .... Keep it up....Pasha

4now: that was an awesome idea. It is really funny you just read my mind. So I'm in too, lets start that support group. Heheh

That was cute.

Have a great night everybody!!

Hey guys....where is your compassion? You are right, Mike and I do have a lot in common - not due alone to our situation, but because we have compassion for each other's circumstances.

I have read post after post from some people, stating that USC's in our position should just "move on"...well part of moving on is trying to make sense out of a non-sensical situation...maybe it deosn't apply to you guys, but that's my two cents.

Now, for a hard reality check, though, why is it that you'll all come up with different angles for other scenarios, and refrain from t elling those who are looking for other ways to secure GC after marriage fails to "just move on"? I mean here's a case (Sorry Pasha) where a guy who claims to have options, actually asks what his chances are for those options, and no one tells him to "move on", forget it, and chalk his plight up to experience" if his marriage fails before I751 is adjudicated?

I came to this board with an open mind. No, I have valued all opinions, even those which do not match my own ideas, and I have NEVER disagreed wtih SAMMY (Pashe, this one is for you), but I am starting to think that most of the comapssion on this board is pro-alien. Sorry, but that is the way it appears. Just re=read the threads with regard to Mike, Michael and myself and you'll se what I mean.

I've read posts from Yoly, 4now and Pasha which are SCATHING towards the pain that some of us are experiencing. Why is it that on countless occasions, it has been asked whether I am the alien, as opposed to a USC? I have given none of you the reason to believe that...and I have never questioned who you are at all.

And for the members who wanted to make the "those who are defrauded from alien club"....add two "newbies" to the group....read the thread called "SWISS" and see what terror some unscrupulous aliens can do to a USC, and see if you can begin to understand how "violated" we feel now. As, I said before, where is your compassion?

The thread is http://discuss.ilw.com/eve/forums?a=tpc&s=691603441&f=902603441&m=7966003674

Actually, this IS a pro-immigrant board I think.. I know a lot of things are said "tongue in cheek", but, in reality, a support group for people who have been defrauded is not a bad idea in my opinion. There are support groups for everything else and some of these situations that people are posting about are terrible. It's not hard for me to picture the possibility of myself getting into a similar situation and that prospect scares me to death.

I think the aliens that get arrested and deported should also just accept it, get over it and move on ! YEA !

Do you think I would qualify for membership in such a group?

Might have to hold it in a different country though...

ARQU

Since when is opposing marriage fraud "anti" immigration ? I thought this was a board for all immigration information; I must have missed that somewhere. I thought the sponsors of this message board were concerned with helping people with LEGAL immigration. If I came here legally and I saw people breaking the law that I obeyed, I would get angry.

Stil Learning:

I think that this board should be pro-LEGAL, regardless of whether the information given benefits the alien or the USC. And if what had been posted were "tongue in cheek" then I would have no objection, but I'm afraid that outright insults hardly fall within that description

People like Sammy should be commended for the great service they provide and would be a shame if their wisdom was departed from boards such as this one. I applaud you Sammy!

4Now

I did not expect to be brought into a debate I was never apart of to begin with. I'm only responding to your tongue and cheek comment b/c my wife was the first to introduce me to this board several months ago and felt I could find useful information on how to protect myself now when she deserted the marriage. After this comment I do not expect a rebuttal and will not respond to such.

Soapbox: I'm a USC in total support of legal immigration and supported my wife with hers emotionally when she felt she was going to be deported. Financially when she could not work legally in this country and sacrificed 2.5 months for a better life together.

I realize this is a pro immigration board and I support its existence but you forget yourself when posting comments like "move on." Comments like this are not being shared with Aliens trying to gain GCs or when they try to remain in this country when classified "out of status" with options on how to navigate through the system. If you took offense to my posting about the BCIS revisiting their old standards with physically visiting the homes of USC/Aliens then perhaps you need to readdress your intentions and move back to your home country and try to openly express yourself as your have here. You forget yourself as a guest in my home when you will not allow a voice from the opposition to be heard. You enjoy these rights b/c of others who sacrificed. So tongue and cheek get over it and allow both USC and Alien spouses to run posts that help their situations.

Those who have responded to my few posts "I appreciate it," b/c I'm not a "Rich American" or was motivated to learn about the immigration laws as they were not important to me until I met my wife. I want my wife to stay here legally and wanted ways to protect her b/c I do love her but needed the best informed voices to help me. I do not wish to see her deported even though she transformed into someone I do not recognize anymore.

By the way I invite you to check my posts - I've have given only positive pro immigration and USC advice.

[This message was edited by Mike on November 05, 2003 at 10:08 AM.]

Ok...We can't say "move on" but you guys can say "move out".

And I'm not in either one of those situation but it is normal when someone sounds so "boring" repeating over over their bad luck, and how the rest of the world is responsable but them of their very own situation that other people will say "Get over" or "move on". As a matter of the fact is a "healthy advice".
Now when you guys believe you are the owner of the "country" and believe you can determine who should leave...then that really sounds "selfish and not very democratic really".
Anyway I just want to add that nobody is making a laugh out of your problems. People around here is just telling you "YOU SOUND LIKE A SOAP OPERA".
Have a great day everybody!!!!

Swissnut
I wouldn’t reply at all but again I will have to do it…did u see my post before in the same topic…? Whatever 4now wrote was just a joke and if you can’t get it then I am really sorry…did u read my reply…? That this kind of thing should be organized for aliens too and I am in? When did I ever differentiate USC and alien? Did you see there, I told same stuff about aliens too? Then I don’t understand Swissnut…why do you feel like that?
Now whatever you wrote about me having options and everything. Yes I am working on my marriage and I will succeed that also I know…because I have faith and hopes… and I am as emotional as anybody else…otherwise I wouldn’t be trying even…but it doesn’t mean I am stupid like few other people who get hurt first and then cry ( sorry I don’t mean anything here directly to anybody) . I can give guarantee for my actions but I can not take any responsibilities or know in advance what’s cooking in my spouse’s mind…
I just don’t work with only heart, Swiss nut… God gave us very useful organ called brain….i know I will never do anything wrong or attack my spouse, but what if she does … of course I m not God that would know in advance … so I must know all other options to tackle situation in advance and not only cry after everything is lost…I just can not be stupid and rely on only lovey-dovey stuff…then guess what….my outcome will be same crying. I tried collecting data and information if something goes wrong from my spouse side and that I really don’t know…I can just tell about myself…and if ever I come in that condition then I do have at least information what to do and not to start all over again with only crying over and over…did you get it now ? This doesn’t tell anything like marriage for GC… because I will never betray my wife … but what if she does…? Then I should be as stupid as I can and not do anything and forget about abuse / bad life and go back to my country and cry and cry and cry…right? well stop here !!! That’s not my type… I know how to take care of things before it gets worst, take precaution (and there is nothing bad in that, that is called action taken at right time…and after everything happened…these things are left….BIG CRY, Obsession, Depression ) ….!!! Thank you…and Good luck!!!!

One more thing I didn’t understand at all…why did you feel so bad with just an idea of making support group…? Did you see how many Yahoo groups are there…Anti-depression, Anti-suicide and lot more interesting in all field…and I am member of couple of them…they are very useful…and I told the same thing for aliens too…I didn’t differentiate at all….Good luck …I should find something else productive…this is getting tiresome…. Have a Great Day to everybody!!! Pasha

Unless you've walked in their shoes, you cannot know the heartache of being a victim of marriage fraud!

Tears, heartbreak, agony, mistrust, lost hope, guilt, sleepless nights, health issues, feeling like a fool, lost years, financial ruin, moral obligations. It's enough to make your head spin.

I think most USC's are clueless when it comes to marrying a foreigner. When I got married, I thought it would be as easy as showing a marriage license. How wrong I was.

I find the tongue in cheek comments about the support group very offensive. There SHOULD be a support group for victims of marriage fraud.

Mike:

I, like you, am a hypervigilant person. My hypervigilance is a symptom of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD is PTSD results from one traumatic experience whereas complex PTSD results from many traumas over a period of time. I.e., Vietnam Vets have Complex PTSD (Shell Shock).

I would never advise a USC to marry a foreigner, EVER!
If I knew then what I know now, I would never have gotten married. Of course I wondered prior to marriage if it was all about the green card. I still took the risk. I made the choice to get married. Who else could I blame but myself if it turns out to be fraud? We have to take responsibility for our own actions, as it DOES take TWO to Tango.

Immigration Issues or SOAP OPERAS?

I am sorry to hear about your Josephine !!! I wish you good luck to come out of depression. May God help you...Take care...Pasha

everybody is giving support here... and everyone has one or other issue and gets hurt everyday one way or otherway but still life goes on.... We all are human and we learn from our mistakes....(only if we try)....Good luck..Pasha

[This message was edited by Pasha Patel on November 05, 2003 at 11:57 AM.]

Thank you Pasha, you are more than kind.

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Call it a Soap Opera, but can you say you've NEVER had your heart broken?

Yoly, Arq pash...Is it safe to come out now

In the words of Erkel: DID I DO THAT

oh good grief.. a little levity never hurts when the tension and tempers start to flare. it only seems to bother people with "no sense of humor" so of course they miss the joke. and yes I was kidding and in the same time not kidding. and no those 2 newbies not qualified yet... only repeated offenders allowed. ok somebody hit me.

to Mike: for re********..oops i mean rebuttal

Since you have chosen to take 2 words"move on" out of an totally informative reply to ur post and place them here out of context. becuase if you remember I told you to "move on because you had been hit by a Smooth Criminal" So now I'll show you what out of context does : you said today:

"I want my wife to stay here legally and wanted ways to protect her b/c I do love her but needed the best informed voices to help me. I do not wish to see her deported..."

but this is what you said in your previous posts:



"I would like to reconcile, but if she doesn't then I would be forced to report it to BCIS and have her deported"


"Over the weekend I sent out a ceretified Divorce packet to her work site for her signature. I would expect she will sign it right away without any issues if she really wnats the divorce to go through."


"Learning everyday with how to move on with my life. "

"I will be sending the letters out laters tonight. Does this mean she will be out of status now? Its not my concern anymore since she left but curious.Will the marriage be her only way to remain in the country if the H visa doesn't work out? "

Now....did I miss something? oh I must have missed something because 4 sure this will help her stay here.

With friends like this ..who needs enemies

Josephine...
i would love to write here...but i just can't ... my heart was broken as soon as i came here and got to know about lot of stuff, which was going on after even marriage...and i was helpless....trying to turn my wife back with no success...and this kind of things continued for more than a year...and i was still fighting to get her back to me...and still i am doing the same thing....most has broken heart josephine here....and i m still fighting without losing hope to put everything on its place....Pasha