Indianman: It seems to me that you you're assimilated to neither the United States nor India...you choose to live in America, but also wish to remain Indian - at least an idealized version of what you think being Indian means.
Quite honestly, you need to get your head out of your behind and grow up. All of this nonsense about "in India this and in India that" when you haven't really got a clue about India...or for that matter, America. Remember, India was soooo wonderful that you and your parents immigrated to America...at least you physically immigrated.
You live in America, and we don't really care how you did things in India.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by Indianman: Mr. Hudson, I never said her parents informed me she does not eat meat, I said she mentioned me. Her parents live in Mumbai and she lives in Bangalore. She was working in an outsourcing firm. I never said she started to eat meat all of a sudden, I said she disclosed to me that she eats meat to the contrary what she mentioned to me prior to our marriage.
She does not want to be traditional Hindu wife and I'd not prefer her to be traditional as I have been living here since 12 and my thinking is modern. I am not a rigid Indian male who thinks women are to only stay at home and take care of kids. She has her full freedom to do whatever she wants to do. If she wants to eat meat, fine by me but that is not what I signed up for otherwise I would have married a woman who lives here and does essentially the same.
My parents have treated her as their own daughter. When I informed to my parents on what she wants, my parents even mentioned that they will move back to India and spend the rest of their life in India. I am not agreeing to their decision because my mother is handicap and my father alone cannot take of her. Similar to America, in India we do not have place for elderly people. I want to be with my parents and take care of them when they are spending their last moment on earth. Is this against the American culture or am I asking too much? So what is your answer since you have already guessed it?
What do you mean that names have been changed? Can you please clarify further? It seems you think I am someone that you know or someone who mentioned a story to you that has lot of similarities.
My posting asked for suggestions but you seem to be attacking me and blaming me for abiding by my principles and loving my parents.
No, I am questioning you. If I suspect something is wrong with a point or two, then I suspect the whole. Just my nature and do not take it personally.
From what you said, on the one hand you want her Westernized, but on the other hand, you do not.
For instance, she is talking to some guy on the phone. It could be an innocent phone conversation to a male cousin or it could not. Will you limit her freedom by telling her not to talk to him, kick her out, etc, or will you allow the freedom and trust your wife is telling the truth. Unless you have direct proof, not suspicion, you want it both ways.
My suggestion to find out is to have your parents talk to her parents and ask who this guy is. I assume you have a name, at least. May not be the proper thing, but at least it could find out if she is telling the truth.
Another instance, it seems to frustrate you that she does not want to work, but that the conversation you had before plunging into the marriage she told something different. The question is was she responding to what you wrote on the internet site or was it something totally different?
As for the parents living with you, it might be that she feels crowded living with them. And her response may be an indication of that. So, you might want to think about helping your parents and helping your wife at the same time.
"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams on Defense of the boston Massacre
Since You Live In "THEE" Area. You Really Should Try To Attend The Airshow At ***** AF Base In Md. Exit 7B Off Beltway. The F-22 Rapter. Is Quite an Impossible Thing That Truly Does Exist Within USA Technology. However What You See Is Only 10% Of The Potential. Its Quite Amazing!
??? Who's off topic? I grew up near AAFB and attended many of their air shows. Don't need to keep repeating the same old stuff. Out with the old, in with the new - lol. (am I taking his lingo now? )
I Didn't Say you were Off Topic... LOL. I Was Refering To Myself being off topic. concerning the air Show.
Originally posted by Indianman: What part did I mention that is the part of an American culture? Drinking, eating meat, smoking cigarettes? None of it is part of American culture. It is acceptable all over the world. Even in India people eat meat and drink. I said I am Hindu by religion. By migrating to America I did not choose to convert my religion.
One of my co-worker who is White, her mother stays with her. Is it American culture to no have your parents live with you? I don't think so. In America we have a concept of freedom and that is one of the reasons people move out or don't let the parents live with them.
Okay, you're right.
But in order to be right in this case, you also have to be wrong. You want the liberty to live in America on your terms. Fine, but you find your wife's lifestyle preferences to be unacceptable. What about her liberty? Do you consider her to be your property? Your not an American at heart, are you?
Therefore you are not only a fool, but also a hypocrite and a very selfish one at that!
Did I ever said that I want her to change her lifestyle? No. Not at all. Not a bit. When you surf Match.com or some other dating site, you do see women and men laying out preferences like height, weight, appearance, smoking/no-smoking etc. My preferences speak the same. No meat. How hard is it to understand that?
Now what part of her freedom am I controlling? I have never objected to her drinking, eating meat, talking to some stranger who apparently is her cousin.
There is some things about this that are being left out. The mystery man on the phone. Why not check the phone bill? Mark the time when one of those calls come in. When the bill arrives, call the number. Or easier still. Last number redial. Or caller id. If those are blocked, you may have a legit problem. At this point I would not involve the parents. Especially hers. To query her parents is tantamount to questioning her morals. Not a good thing to do if you want to be on their good side. Especially if it turns out he really is a cousin.
What I said about the fridge was about your refrigerator. Not the one in her home country. Although, under the circumstances it probably would have been justified to at least take a peek when you had the chance back then. The chicken comment was a joke (Had to be there). What is the situation now? If she is currently eating meat and drinking there should be some evidence to that in your own house. If there isn't any you may have a bigger problem. This could very well be much more complicated. More to do with escape, shame, guilt and other issues.
As for the parents. Well, I am not there so this is just an assumption based on usual desires. No one likes sharing a house with other people A women, as a rule, looks at her home as her domain. Having to share that and being recently married would be a large lump of pride to hold down.
On the one hand you say its ok for her to be westernized but its obvious that isn't what you wanted. Hey, thats not a problem. No one should fault you for not wanting a women you feel may be morally questionable. So, don't be afraid to say so. You wanted a traditional Indian wife. Looks like that isn't what you got. Although an implied description was given by her to indicate that. She knew that was the condition and lead you to believe it was true. When in fact it was not. You guys have some talking to do.
You voted democrat. This country is not worth sneaking into any more.
Posts: 5756 | Location: San Antonio TX | Registered: 06-08-2007
Originally posted by Sprint_girl07: SD..His ID says it all really doesn't it.
Miss - This is not a joke. I came to this forum hoping for some guidance, not for some culture negativity.
Indianman,
Just Keep in Mind There are Hundreds of Posters Here. Best Way to Find Answers Is Ignore What Might Appear As Cultural Things. and Concentrate on the Good Answers, You Will See Both Sides! You Have To sort Through. And Sometimes Things that Appear Directed At You Are Actually For Someone Else. Interface Can Be Challenging.
Even Criticism Has Its Rewards, The Regulars Actual Get Goofy Sometimes As Myself "99% Time".
There Is Good Stuff To Find Here, And Knowledgeable Ones Also. It Is an Open Forum, People From All Over The World Here.
Might I add, this forum is solely helpful for people who want to deceive US Govt, USC, etc. If you are seeking help as a USC who has been defrauded, GOOD LUCK. There ain't no such thing as help on this forum for people SPEAKING THE TRUTH.
The Hudson and them gang has butchered you enough, do you really want more from them. Hudson has a tendency to take sides of foreign women irrespective of their crime. I have now started to suspect if he is running some sort of prostitution ring . Thus the love for foreign women . Just follow my 12 step program and you are home free.
Originally posted by whiteUSCNeedsHelp: Might I add, this forum is solely helpful for people who want to deceive US Govt, USC, etc. If you are seeking help as a USC who has been defrauded, GOOD LUCK. There ain't no such thing as help on this forum for people SPEAKING THE TRUTH.
The Hudson and them gang has butchered you enough, do you really want more from them. Hudson has a tendency to take sides of foreign women irrespective of their crime. I have now started to suspect if he is running some sort of prostitution ring. Just follow my 12 step program and you are home free.
WUSC, I don't think that is a very fair comment you have made. It isn't butchering him, he wanted some answers and we gave it to him. Remember your own quote: You may not like what I have to say but that does not mean I am wrong. Well that is exactly what we have done, we say, he may not like it, but it doesn't mean we are wrong. And the same goes for you SH. I'm sorry.
Why are you singling out Hudson? I think others have said far more than he has and some have said far worse.
It is obvious you don't like him, but to keep singling him out on every issue is not fair and just. I think accusing him of running a prostitution ring is rather below the belt (excuse pun). I really wish you would read his history some more, you have a wrong opinion about him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Indianman, do you talk to her parents or family members about this at all? If you have, what were their views on the matter?
I don't know what your solution is but maybe some counseling may benefit you both. Maybe it will make it or break it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by whiteUSCNeedsHelp: Might I add, this forum is solely helpful for people who want to deceive US Govt, USC, etc. If you are seeking help as a USC who has been defrauded, GOOD LUCK. There ain't no such thing as help on this forum for people SPEAKING THE TRUTH.
The Hudson and them gang has butchered you enough, do you really want more from them. Hudson has a tendency to take sides of foreign women irrespective of their crime. I have now started to suspect if he is running some sort of prostitution ring. Just follow my 12 step program and you are home free.
WUSC, I don't think that is a very fair comment you have made. It isn't butchering him, he wanted some answers and we gave it to him. Remember your own quote: You may not like what I have to say but that does not mean I am wrong. Well that is exactly what we have done, we say, he may not like it, but it doesn't mean we are wrong. And the same goes for you SH. I'm sorry.
Why are you singling out Hudson? I think others have said far more than he has and some have said far worse.
It is obvious you don't like him, but to keep singling him out on every issue is not fair and just. I think accusing him of running a prostitution ring is rather below the belt (excuse pun). I really wish you would read his history some more, you have a wrong opinion about him.
SG - You are excluded from the Hudson gang . OP posted a question seeking suggestion, however, Hudson flipped and started to accuse him as usual because he is USC Men. Not only that I believe Hudson made an indirect comments to his parents. I just don't get it why go that far fetched to protect foreign women without giving the right answers OP is seeking or trying to act as a JUDGE and probe him more and then label him you are LIAR.
I am not racist. I am not anti-immigrant. I am AGAINST CRIMINALS, FRAUDSTERS, WHO DISOBEY THE LAW, BREAK THE LAW AND PERPETRATE THE FRAUD.
You may not like what I have to say but that does not mean I am wrong.
Posts: 1617 | Location: For Women In Your Heart | Registered: 05-05-2008
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