Hudson, I only brought it up due to how he stated their courtship was done. It had the markings of traditionalism to it. Seemed to me he wanted an old fashioned Indian girl. What ever that is.
I've seen some relationships where it is part of the culture to have the son's parents living in the same house as the husband and his new wife. Often it is the case where, usually the mother, critiques the daughter in law daily. Not the most pleasant of environments.
I see the point of the parents meeting and no sharing of knowledge concerning her vices. That could be attributed to 'best face forward'. Not so much a blatant cover up.
The big ? is the mention of her friends and what they did and the mystery person she speaks to. And of course the turn around in religous practice.
What doesn't make sense is how could he not know she eats meat. No mention of chicken though. Doesn't he ever look in his fridge? Never smells smoke in the house from cigs? No smell of alcohol on her?
You voted democrat. This country is not worth sneaking into any more.
Posts: 5756 | Location: San Antonio TX | Registered: 06-08-2007
There Is Good and Bad In Every Culture! Unfortunately The Bad Could Be Considered To Many USC As EVIL!!!
I Live Within Many Cultures! You Cant Report 10,000 As Frauds. They Truly Would Call You Loony!!! I Swear It Really Is That BAD!!!
I Am On The INSIDE! Once Someone Becomes USC, They Are Seen As Different To Many. Regardless Of Origin! They Suddenly Obtain The Bullseye Of A Potential Tool!
No Longer The Desperate! ONE OF US!!! No Different Than One Of Us, USC!
FAIR GAME!!!!
I Am So Very Respectful And Happy Many Here Know The LAWS! And I Don't Want To Ruin Anyones Day. However, If You Usually Put 1 Minute Into Your Responses, I Am Asking For 2 Minutes! There Is Thinking Out There Unlike Most USC Have Never Imagined Could Possibly Exist!!!
I Always Thought The Pot Of Gold At The end of the Rainbow Was Something. ITS ACTUALLY USA at the end of the Rainbow!!!
This kind of story is ever so common in UK. Once the Indian spouse moves over, they change. A lot of it does have to do with having the sense of freedom, and seeing how the Westerners live. For example, the man wants a traditional woman so will marry someone from their motherland rather than here or UK, but once they come over, things change and the woman is not who they thought they married. The traditional woman becomes the westernized woman and things go down hill from there.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by Sprint_girl07: This kind of story is ever so common in UK. Once the Indian spouse moves over, they change. A lot of it does have to do with having the sense of freedom, and seeing how the Westerners live. For example, the man wants a traditional woman so will marry someone from their motherland rather than here or UK, but once they come over, things change and the woman is not who they thought they married. The traditional woman becomes the westernized woman and things go down hill from there.
Sprint,
Hes Been In USA Since He Was 12!!! He Is An American, With American Thinking Now. Not That Place Of Origin Doesn't Have Some Power. "In Marriage" But There Are Those Even From Same Culture That No Longer See Him'Her As Same!!! Now Him/Her Is USC, Available Target Like Any Other USC!
You Guys Know The Laws and I Know The People! Give Your Best Advice To Protect This USC! Thanks.
Hes Been In USA Since He Was 12!!! He Is An American, With American Thinking Now. Not That Place Of Origin Doesn't Have Some Power. "In Marriage" But There Are Those Even From Same Culture That No Longer See Him'Her As Same!!! Now Him/Her Is USC, Available Target Like Any Other USC!
You Guys Know The Laws and I Know The People! Give Your Best Advice To Protect This USC! Thanks.
By this thinking, since he's been in the US so long, it could be that his expectations are far too high and he's not really aware of all the changes to his country of birth or it's culture.
Sprint, I've also seen the same thing in New Zealand, not just with the Indian culture, but with Asian and some Pacific Island cultures as well. Once the person who has been so cloistered gets a taste of the western world and the freedom it holds, they wish to make it their future.
************************************** The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it - Plutarch
Posts: 1210 | Location: Las Vegas | Registered: 07-29-2007
DC..read my post properly. And take your meds while you are at it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Since You Live In "THEE" Area. You Really Should Try To Attend The Airshow At ***** AF Base In Md. Exit 7B Off Beltway. The F-22 Rapter. Is Quite an Impossible Thing That Truly Does Exist Within USA Technology. However What You See Is Only 10% Of The Potential. Its Quite Amazing!
Originally posted by Sprint_girl07: DC..read my post properly. And take your meds while you are at it.
Sprint,
what Did i Do know????? I Have Been Attempting To Conduct Myself As Perfect Gentleman!
Trust Me! Its Trickery Within Place Of Origin!!! It Happens ALOT!!! You Guys/ILW Will Be Seeing More of This I Am Sure!!! Even The Rules Of A Culture Are Being Attacked These Days!!!!
2 Minutes Instead Of The Usual 1 Minute! Thank You!!!!
P.S. If I Was Able To Provide You With A Ride On That Has A Blade Sooo Very Out Of Balance To Make You Smile, I WOULD!!! Also I Am All Out Of Panda SCHNAPPS!!! I Would Give Freely To You. If I Was Able!
Since You Live In "THEE" Area. You Really Should Try To Attend The Airshow At ***** AF Base In Md. Exit 7B Off Beltway. The F-22 Rapter. Is Quite an Impossible Thing That Truly Does Exist Within USA Technology. However What You See Is Only 10% Of The Potential. Its Quite Amazing!
??? Who's off topic? I grew up near AAFB and attended many of their air shows. Don't need to keep repeating the same old stuff. Out with the old, in with the new - lol. (am I taking his lingo now? )
Add to that many who have never been here think what they see on American TV is how we live. Once here there might be a tendancy to overdo the western attitude.
Bra burning, TV dinnners, liberalism gone extreme.
You voted democrat. This country is not worth sneaking into any more.
Posts: 5756 | Location: San Antonio TX | Registered: 06-08-2007
Indianman..I apologize for all this off topic stuff....someone escaped the asylum. lol
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by davdah: Add to that many who have never been here think what they see on American TV is how we live. Once here there might be a tendancy to overdo the western attitude.
Bra burning, TV dinnners, liberalism gone extreme.
You have been watching too many of those movies you showed links to last night
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by unique: I think you should move back to India, and let her stay in America. Part of becoming an American, is adopting the American culture. She has done a much better job of that than you. Consider yourself married to an American woman, because if you were she'd also want your parents out.
What part did I mention that is the part of an American culture? Drinking, eating meat, smoking cigarettes? None of it is part of American culture. It is acceptable all over the world. Even in India people eat meat and drink. I said I am Hindu by religion. By migrating to America I did not choose to convert my religion.
One of my co-worker who is White, her mother stays with her. Is it American culture to no have your parents live with you? I don't think so. In America we have a concept of freedom and that is one of the reasons people move out or don't let the parents live with them.
Originally posted by Indianman: Thank you all who have provided me suggestions. I truly appreciate your support.
Hudson - Yes, both sides of family were involved in the marriage. I work as an Engineer and I had clearly informed that I will be supporting my parents and they will be living with me. She was OK with the idea.
The question of perceiving doesn't come because we talked about it and agreed on things prior to our marriage.
India has changed a lot compared to old days. You knowledge of India is probably based on books that talk about old age not the newer one.
I know India has changed, but that is not the point is it?
so, both sets of parents knew, from what everybody has said, that she does not eat meat. Then all of a sudden, she starts eating meat? I find that a little too suspicious since it now involves more than one person to keep the "secret?" On the other hand, she and her family may be nonpracticing Hindus?
If she does not want to work, does that mean she wants to be a traditional Hindu wife?
And how do your parents treat her? This is what I am most curious, but I can guess the answer already.
I think most of what you said is true, but the names have been changed around to provide a story here. But hey, at least you did not abandon her while she was still in India.
Mr. Hudson, I never said her parents informed me she does not eat meat, I said she mentioned me. Her parents live in Mumbai and she lives in Bangalore. She was working in an outsourcing firm. I never said she started to eat meat all of a sudden, I said she disclosed to me that she eats meat to the contrary what she mentioned to me prior to our marriage.
She does not want to be traditional Hindu wife and I'd not prefer her to be traditional as I have been living here since 12 and my thinking is modern. I am not a rigid Indian male who thinks women are to only stay at home and take care of kids. She has her full freedom to do whatever she wants to do. If she wants to eat meat, fine by me but that is not what I signed up for otherwise I would have married a woman who lives here and does essentially the same.
My parents have treated her as their own daughter. When I informed to my parents on what she wants, my parents even mentioned that they will move back to India and spend the rest of their life in India. I am not agreeing to their decision because my mother is handicap and my father alone cannot take of her. Similar to America, in India we do not have place for elderly people. I want to be with my parents and take care of them when they are spending their last moment on earth. Is this against the American culture or am I asking too much? So what is your answer since you have already guessed it?
What do you mean that names have been changed? Can you please clarify further? It seems you think I am someone that you know or someone who mentioned a story to you that has lot of similarities.
My posting asked for suggestions but you seem to be attacking me and blaming me for abiding by my principles and loving my parents.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: Indianman,
Originally posted by Indianman: What part did I mention that is the part of an American culture? Drinking, eating meat, smoking cigarettes? None of it is part of American culture. It is acceptable all over the world. Even in India people eat meat and drink. I said I am Hindu by religion. By migrating to America I did not choose to convert my religion.
One of my co-worker who is White, her mother stays with her. Is it American culture to no have your parents live with you? I don't think so. In America we have a concept of freedom and that is one of the reasons people move out or don't let the parents live with them.
Okay, you're right.
But in order to be right in this case, you also have to be wrong. You want the liberty to live in America on your terms. Fine, but you find your wife's lifestyle preferences to be unacceptable. What about her liberty? Do you consider her to be your property? Your not an American at heart, are you?
Therefore you are not only a fool, but also a hypocrite and a very selfish one at that!
The only thing un-American about America, is the USCIS.
Originally posted by davdah: Hudson, I only brought it up due to how he stated their courtship was done. It had the markings of traditionalism to it. Seemed to me he wanted an old fashioned Indian girl. What ever that is.
I've seen some relationships where it is part of the culture to have the son's parents living in the same house as the husband and his new wife. Often it is the case where, usually the mother, critiques the daughter in law daily. Not the most pleasant of environments.
I see the point of the parents meeting and no sharing of knowledge concerning her vices. That could be attributed to 'best face forward'. Not so much a blatant cover up.
The big ? is the mention of her friends and what they did and the mystery person she speaks to. And of course the turn around in religous practice.
What doesn't make sense is how could he not know she eats meat. No mention of chicken though. Doesn't he ever look in his fridge? Never smells smoke in the house from cigs? No smell of alcohol on her?
Mr. Davdah - When she living in Bangalore, she had a roommate. I visited her place twice in Bangalore but spend most of the time in Mumbai at her parents. I did not open their fridge to see what they have. And I said she disclosed to me that she eats and drinks. As mentioned previously, we are vegetarian and non-drinker so you will not find chicken in our fridge or bottle of alcohol.
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