Today you are machine. You are THE TERMINATOR. You will follow these instructions. Machines do not think. Machines do not feel. You wull follow my commands.

Clear your mind of clutter and confusion. You have one command: TERMINATE THE MARRIAGE.

Get off the internet now and get to your lawyer and terminate the marriage. Nothing else. Terminate the marriage. Mo excuses no monsense. No more strategizing and second guessing.

You will tell lawyer that you want marriage terminated; preferably by annullment if not then by divorce. You do not know where wife is. You tell him. You want termination asap. You will nt pay more than $1500. Find other lawyer if he gives you hard time or charges more.

TODAY YOU ARE THE TERMINATOR !

TERMINATE. TERMINATE. TERMINATE.

You almost sounded credible in his posting. Now, well... (lol).

do it brian! good luck and be STRONG!

YES! that is the mindset a man needs at a time like this.

Here is something I posted 4 years ago with a few updates to it a year ago.

1) Get to a good attorney right away that knows the issues of divorce with a man or woman who has not secured their immigration status. Most attorneys do not have a clue about these issues and could make your exit based on their advice very risky. Keep all records of your consultation visits. You may need them later.

2) Keep your mouth shut about a divorce to your immigrant husband or wife or to any of her friends.

3) File first. Abusive people do not consult attorneys or file the divorce first thus letting her/him go. They use abuse to hold on to their spouses.

4) Separate in a non confrontational manner. Do it while she/he is away shopping and not around. Have a woman relative or friend be with you when you moving your things out.

5) Most people balk at the idea of letting the spouse stay in the house. Remember if it is your premarital asset or that you are paying the mortgage in the divorce settlement he/she will eventually have to leave this house. It is far better to sleep on your sister's couch that go through a difficult dv trial. One fellow I know had his Russia wife wanting him to set her up with an apartment in a distant city. He said "no" and all hell broke loose. In retrospect he said he wished he had set her up in another city, filed the divorce and ended his support of her AOS.

6) Have a professional process server process serve her/him when they return. Be no where near when this happens.

7) Keep your location of where you a living a secret. It is during these time false incidents of DV are created out of thin air. But if he/she doesn't know where you are or who you are with (alibi) then it makes it difficult and risky for them to create this phony evidence.

8) Do not contact her/him in any way or have any of your friends do likewise. Only contact should be by your attorney with theirs. Your attorney cannot contact them directly. These are times that really test your mind over your heart. Resist all sentimental feelings of giving them one more chance. You will put yourself at great risk if you do. Do I need to say why?

9) Remember at some point you will either be in a court room or sitting in front of a divorce attorney defending yourself. It will be your careful exit and careful actions after the exit that will prove you are not a person to worry about. If you find yourself in a dv trial it will be your attorney and yourself stating these facts of your careful exit that will either eliminate or reduce the damages the court will impose on you. That is why I say keep good records of attorney consultation visits and efforts to let her/him go.

10) After the dust settles your nerves will be shot and your distrust of people of the opposite *** will be high. I suggest not letting this become a permanent feeling. Find someone who is Russian (if your ex-spouse is Russian) to talk with and e-mail. This helps in getting over those biases. Then take a good hard look at yourself for the things that you might have done wrong. Don't beat yourself up over it just change it. Perhaps you were too much in need for love and the instant gratification of an internet romance filled it for you? There needs to be a good self analysis and correction before plunging back into this. Without doing so you might find yourself marrying the same kind of person you did before. A wise quote on this board "Swim like a wounded fish and you will attract the sharks". Be whole and know what you are doing if you do it again.