ok im throwing in the towel regarding my marrige i listen to you post and now im doing what you said but now what is the corse i should take..don't forget the wrong affidavid of support ..

You said it perfectly in one of your previous posts. Kindness is often interpreted as weakness. If you give out threats and don't back it up with action your screwed. She knows the threats are empty and meaningless. You would end up a miserable doormat. Your right, evil knows no borders. Russian, Chinese, U.S., they can be anywhere and everywhere. There can be good ones from all of the above locations too. Looks like you got one from the former group.

Now, what to do. Call USCIS and let them know you feel your being scammed and ask what to do to stop everything. You should also talk to an immigration lawyer. You said something about filing the wrong support form? I think there are two versions depending on the visa. One is the infamous I-864 and the other one, can't think of the number at the moment. Oh, don't forget to file the annulment and do try to claim fraud. Since she is over there you may be able to slam the door on her being able to come back. If succesful you can forget about the I-864 requirement. She may not be able to touch you financially. You should probably not tell her anything at this point. Just file the proper papers and be done with it.

Normally if I see any glimmer of hope I will take the side of fixing it. Here, I don't think so. The big red flag was not wanting to be with you. That is a gigantic becon that says I WANT MY GC NOT YOU.

For future reference take note of all the things that went wrong here. Go with your gut instinct. God gave us that to protect us from being stupid when we think with the wrong head. Obey it. Here are a couple tips if you go shopping again overseas. Younger is not always better. Even if the attraction is genuine you still need to be able to relate to her after your romping sessions. Which rolls into number two. Make sure her english is good enough. It will destroy any relationship when the people can't talk to each other clearly. By the way that is the number one reason marriages fail in this country, failure to communicate. Ask any marriage therapist. Its tough enough without a language barrier, let alone with one. Lastly, get one that has some kind of profession. Avoid the ones who are living at home with their parents waiting to be married off. They will be as lazy with you as they are with their own lives. She doesn't have to be a PHD but at least be doing something with her time. Take heart, you probably just saved yourself a huge amount of misery.

Sorry but you are wrong Davdah. He should STOP wasting time with USCIS. Unless he has an anullment or divorce in his hands there is nothing they can or will do. Why should they ?What he has to do - for the millionth time - is forget the immigration thing. He NEEDS to get an anulment or divorce IMMEDIATELY. Tomorrow morning he MUST see a lawyer, explain the situation and tat he wants an anulment based on fraud or a divorce(depends on the law of his state). He should not babble on about immigration; the lawyer and anyone else does not want to get involved in that. Just say I want anulnment or divorce, here is were she is living, here's the money, go do your job. Everything will fall into place. Going to immigration now is a big pointless waste of time which he no longer has any to spare. If this guy does not see a lawyer first thing n the morning to discuss judcially ending the marriage and NOT about immigration then he is hopeless. If he files for divorce/anullment and NOT discuss any immigration matters TOMORROW MORNING then I retract my negative judgement and I will praise him. I will bet $100 that he will not follow this advice.

Your right, first things first. Even if he goes to immigration he should have something in his hand to show he's serious, ie the divorce.
I think he will follow through.

I saw that he had another posting where he said he signed someone else's support form. I think it was for a son or daughter of a friend. Didn't say which one, I-864 or I-134. I guess it didn't affect him here since he was able to marry the chinese girl and she was almost successful in sticking him.

He's not gonna do it. He will keep yapping about the immigration issue. Sometimes we don't even know that we hold the key to our prison.

quote:

For all those who think foreign women from china and Russia are more subservient then American women guess again / i just want to thank all of you for your posts

So, now the truth lets out. You want a woman who is "subservient?" One who will bow to your every wish, worship the ground you walk on, be treated only as a *** slave? Good god almighty, halflife. You really are from the land of fruitcakes, nuts, and honies.

More than likely, she caught on to your game and waited for the two years. I don't think she would survive two months with you. You are just that pathetic, along with tweedlee-dee and tweedlee-dumb posting too. The only reason why you married was to have *** and you did not think twice what the consequence are.

Personally, I think you should be physically castrated, along with the other two "brains." That way, as a eunuch, you won't have to worry about marriage, ***, or other manly things. You just can't handle it.

quote:

Originally posted by Hudson:

quote:

For all those who think foreign women from china and Russia are more subservient then American women guess again / i just want to thank all of you for your posts

So, now the truth lets out. You want a woman who is "subservient?" One who will bow to your every wish, worship the ground you walk on, be treated only as a *** slave? Good god almighty, halflife. You really are from the land of fruitcakes, nuts, and honies.

More than likely, she caught on to your game and waited for the two years. I don't think she would survive two months with you. You are just that pathetic, along with tweedlee-dee and tweedlee-dumb posting too. The only reason why you married was to have *** and you did not think twice what the consequence are.

Personally, I think you should be physically castrated, along with the other two "brains." That way, as a eunuch, you won't have to worry about marriage, ***, or other manly things. You just can't handle it.

Right on!

quote:

Originally posted by Hudson:
You want a woman who is "subservient?" One who will bow to your every wish, worship the ground you walk on, be treated only as a *** slave?

WHY NOT ? This is what feminists want from men and no one blinks an eye. This is how most American men are forced to treat women and society says thats the way it should be. Why can't men want the same thing that feminists want. Aren't we "free"?

FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM

quote:

Originally posted by SonofMichael:

quote:

Originally posted by Hudson:
You want a woman who is "subservient?" One who will bow to your every wish, worship the ground you walk on, be treated only as a *** slave?

WHY NOT ? This is what feminists want from men and no one blinks an eye. This is how most American men are forced to treat women and society says thats the way it should be. Why can't men want the same thing that feminists want. Aren't we "free"?

FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM

Since I've been a member of this board, there's not been one woman that I would consider placing in your category of 'idiot'. Get lost, Sonof. You have nothing to add on this forum but sick, non-helpful advice. Don't you have anything else to do with your time? Pretty sad if your answer is 'no'.

subservient =
adj 1: compliant and obedient to authority;

2: abjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant;

When i said subservient i meant in the way as it is said in websters compliant and obedient to authority and did not mean for it to encompass the characteristic sterotype of slavery and especially *** slavery. Also if you
have ever spent any time in land of fruitcakes, nuts, and honies. There are to big citys called www.myspace.com and www.craigslist.com . There you will find fruitcakes, nuts, honies, politian's, maybe even son of ?????, posting adds looking for someone who will treat or take them in as a *** slave. Those add's are constanty out number by 2 to 1 or more the add's of people looking for a *** slave so
that being said if i wanted a *** slave i could get one from there (With there permission) easy without getting married .

quote:

Originally posted by Hudson:

quote:

For all those who think foreign women from china and Russia are more subservient then American women guess again / i just want to thank all of you for your posts

So, now the truth lets out. You want a woman who is "subservient?" One who will bow to your every wish, worship the ground you walk on, be treated only as a *** slave? Good god almighty, halflife. You really are from the land of fruitcakes, nuts, and honies.

More than likely, she caught on to your game and waited for the two years. I don't think she would survive two months with you. You are just that pathetic, along with tweedlee-dee and tweedlee-dumb posting too. The only reason why you married was to have *** and you did not think twice what the consequence are.

Personally, I think you should be physically castrated, along with the other two "brains." That way, as a eunuch, you won't have to worry about marriage, ***, or other manly things. You just can't handle it.

quote:

Originally posted by halflife3:
subservient =
adj 1: compliant and obedient to authority;

2: abjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant;

When i said subservient i meant in the way as it is said in websters compliant and obedient to authority and did not mean for it to encompass the characteristic sterotype of slavery and especially *** slavery. Also if you
have ever spent any time in land of fruitcakes, nuts, and honies. There are to big citys called www.myspace.com and www.craigslist.com . There you will find fruitcakes, nuts, honies, politian's, maybe even son of ?????, posting adds looking for someone who will treat or take them in as a *** slave. Those add's are constanty out number by 2 to 1 or more the add's of people looking for a *** slave so
that being said if i wanted a *** slave i could get one from there (With there permission) easy without getting married .

Congratulations, you are using a dictionary, but that was not the context in which your sentence that I quoted.

So, here are my questions to you:
1) How much do you love your wife? Do you love her as Christ loved the Church? Are you willing to sacrifice everything for her comfort, happiness, and respect? Or is it only for your happiness, your comfort, your self centered righteousness? And are you using Christianity as a control mechanism even though you are nonreligious?

2) If you truly love her, does it really matter if she has her permanent green card or conditional green card? Or will you use the conditional green card as a control mechanism to satisfy your happiness? only

3) How much do you communicate openly and effectively with her? or do you keep secrets from her hope that she will never find out? Do you appreciate the culture she comes from or are you using culture as a scapegoat?

4) Have you talked to the mutual friend, you know, the one that allegedly introduced you? The one who was a coworker? Or was that a farce too?

Marriage is not a one way street where one is subservient and one is master? Yes, I know you are getting that idea from a perverse perspective in Ephesians 5:28-30 "In the same way, husbands should love their wives. They should love them as they love their own bodies. Any man who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, people have never hated their own bodies. Instead, they feed and care for their bodies. And that is what Christ does for the church. 30 We are parts of his body."

Christ HATES people who commit fraud; that is the work of the devil, not of God. You are saying we should sacrifice everything; our money, our self respect, our families, our lives for someone who commits fraud ! That is being a real slave and being submissive. Yet if someone says he wants mutual love and respect, you go ape sh*t on hime !

BTW - Jesus hates you too !

Hey Hudson read the entire posting from the beginnig. If she loved him she would be here and not staying in China to get her no condition GC. There is a lot to be said for that. A friend of mine is married to a Chinese girl and she said herself that it is probably scam. A Chinese women is no different than any other. If they love thier husband they will want to be with them, period. The amount of affection, devotion etc. needs to be equal. Don't lambast halflife cause he can't walk on water. To speak to his character he co-signed someone elses support obligation. Would you put your money where your mouth is?

quote:

Originally posted by davdah:
Hey Hudson read the entire posting from the beginnig. If she loved him she would be here and not staying in China to get her no condition GC. There is a lot to be said for that. A friend of mine is married to a Chinese girl and she said herself that it is probably scam. A Chinese women is no different than any other. If they love thier husband they will want to be with them, period. The amount of affection, devotion etc. needs to be equal. Don't lambast halflife cause he can't walk on water. To speak to his character he co-signed someone elses support obligation. Would you put your money where your mouth is?

I have read his post as halflife3 not to mention as his previous thread as halflife2 which he admitted in his opening post that he lied about certain things. Then of oourse, he posted this, ""I sunk to your level" by posting false information saying that i found out she was broke and so i didn't care anymore because I realized at least i could control her and she would obey my orders !!... Well that was not true. I can't be live some of you bull ****s fell for that ....come on do you really think money is less important then being broke and happy because i could control someone because i could use the threat of divorce or deportation as a power play..." Of course, this part was edited by the OP on June 11, 2007 11:25 PM.

Then you have this, "What can i do to make sure she gets a conditional green card and not a perment one. i would rather make sure she get a conditional green card so she has to work at the marriage and not just enter the county and do whatever she wants ..like playing me and divorcing me right away." This is not the sound of a concerned husband wanting to know hwy his wife is delaying. He has already made up his mind and needs "convincing" from somebody to agree with him.

In another thread, he stated she was told by her friend. If this is true, she is trusting her friend, probably a really good friend, and may now have doubts on him. If this is true, he acted one way in China and now another in the US. This may cause alarm on her part.

Finally, depending on how she perceived what was said to her by the person helping with the immigration papers, it would depend on why she wanted to wait. If she thought it was less trouble for the both of them, then that could decide Of course, he never asked her to begin with but assumed worst case scenarios and went off in a rampage. This truly shows how lack of communication is apparent in the relationship, particularly if she has little verbal English skills. This defies your proposition that cultural differences have little to do with relationships? Give me a break.

If he had suspicions from early on they were probably for a good reason. There are always little clues that give a person away if their intentions are not above board. Many times we can't put our finger on it but we see something wrong never the less. We're not privey to every conversation they had so we have to go by what we see here.

If things degraded to the point of worry about being played, probably for good reason again. Or about wanting to wait on the unconditional card. I would think he wanted to give it the test of time and if it went south to be able to mitigate his losses. Not a bad move if there is cause for alarm.

The impression I get is he wanted it to be real but everything pointed somewhere else.
As far as the culture issue. I wasn't talking about language as part of the culture equation. I would assume he can talk to her. If not then it would be best to end it regardless. You can't maintain a real relationship with someone you can't communicate with. That would be insane.

quote:

Originally posted by davdah:
If he had suspicions from early on they were probably for a good reason. There are always little clues that give a person away if their intentions are not above board. Many times we can't put our finger on it but we see something wrong never the less. We're not privey to every conversation they had so we have to go by what we see here.

If things degraded to the point of worry about being played, probably for good reason again. Or about wanting to wait on the unconditional card. I would think he wanted to give it the test of time and if it went south to be able to mitigate his losses. Not a bad move if there is cause for alarm.

The impression I get is he wanted it to be real but everything pointed somewhere else.
As far as the culture issue. I wasn't talking about language as part of the culture equation. I would assume he can talk to her. If not then it would be best to end it regardless. You can't maintain a real relationship with someone you can't communicate with. That would be insane.

Yes, we are not privy to the conversations nor are we privy to her side of the story. Remember her? Or do you think she is not important because she is a woman from China?

But let's take a look at his intentions, shall we. From his privious threads, he has stated he married her in China in 2005, was in China for all but two weeks, met her through a mutual friend via the workplace. Let us take a look at the first tow facts marriage in China and his stay. Two possible scenarios: first, they fell infatuated with each other and married on pure emotion. They won't be first nor last to do this. Or the second scenario is that she probably said no marriage equals no ***. If the later scenario is more accurate, then how honorable are his intentions? If his intentions were not honorable, then how do we know he is telling the truth about her in the first place? Or, as you said, there were issues, then why do you think he married so quickly? Or do you think he is a victim, just like you and SOM?

Then lets take a look at the mutual friend from his work. In his previous thread, he made her out like a marriage broker, a swindler, etc. When confronted with my knowledge of cultural differences, he then changed the story to a mutual friend which he has worked with. He also added that the girl, now his wife, was looking for a boyfriend/husband. He jumped at the chance without knowing all the details. Again, depending on which scenario you believe makes the difference in what you will think.

Personally, he is looking for a way out of the marriage for one reason or another. The incident about the green card is the excuse he needs. With you and SOM urging him on to divorce, get out, etc, you gave him enough confidence to do so. And perhapps she has caught on to his scheme of controlling, manipulating, extorting personality who only wanted a wife to be "subservient" like a *** slave.

What a bunch of psyco babble nonsense. What an idiot. I am not a victim, I am defender of fredom and justice. If this guy has not yet filed for an anulment based on fraud then he is an idiot. How is he controlling; by taking control over his own life? He has the right to his own life and you won't even give him that. FREEDOM !!!