4now

I said wiser as it can cause problems if you are presumed as Mrs X (married name).
I had everything in my maiden name, but social security put it in my married name.
They told me that as I was already married changing names later would be difficult as I would have to go and change my name through the courts. Not sure if all States do this but this is what was told to me.
I thought if I changed my name all at the same time when I was getting my GC that would be fine as that is what USCIS told me to do.
Well it doesn't work out that way...and can be rather expensive if you obtain certain docs and ID's then want to change them again later.
The first thing I wanted to do was obtain a drivers license or at least an ID card in my married name to start things off, and that is where I came across problems.
Basically you have to start from the USCIS and make sure that they have the name you want to called, then you change all the other documentation.
Its cheaper and easier to basically change your name before you submit docs to USCIS then your passport and anything else.
USCIS are less likely to screw things up on your forms too if its clear what you maiden or married name is.

If the wife wants to keep her maiden name all the time, then that is fine. But if wanting to change the name sometime during the process of immigration...they need to change now.
You have opportunties to change the name as you get your CG, then again when you apply for Citizenship.
There is also another thing as I was asked this question at interview..why if you are married are you not in your married name? Yes that is what they asked me.
You have to convince USICS that you are married and want to be a married couple, so not having your name as your husband's well that can look a bit strange.

Personally I can't see why as women should not have to take on the man's name if she chose not to, but its tradition I guess.

I am only going by my own experience and the trouble I had for not changing my name straight away when I got married.
I wish someone told me to start changing names with USCIS first before I tried changing it through other agencies.


Davdah..seriously lots of people are doing it now. I know a few here in OK and of course in Europe. I think some places require change by deed poll I don't know.
Some of the reasons when I asked were..they hated the man's surname or if taking it, it sounded rude etc
They wanted to continue the mother's name on down the line when they had children.
And various other reasons. One lady I knew was kind of a feminist and insisted that they take her name, he did, he loved her the name didn't matter to him.

I hated my married name..at least now I get a chance to change it back lol

Boys will be girls and girls will be boys. Its a crazy...... It isn't women power your gaining. Its what you losing. You already had it.

I've heard of this becoming more common. Who says we have to follow traditions?

Don't have to follow but it does help to avoid situations. Like SprintGirl pointed out and others. Here's another. If the mother has a different name what last name will the kids have? If the mother's then it will be assumed the dad is a stepdad. Its also a bit humiliating to most men if that is put upon them. I would assume the mother would at least face some uncomfortable situations if the reverse were true. My 2nd wife did that. Part of the reason we're not together. She insisted on being her own person etc. Well, she got her wish in its entirety (lol).

quote:

Originally posted by davdah:
Don't have to follow but it does help to avoid situations. Like SprintGirl pointed out and others. Here's another. If the mother has a different name what last name will the kids have? If the mother's then it will be assumed the dad is a stepdad. Its also a bit humiliating to most men if that is put upon them. I would assume the mother would at least face some uncomfortable situations if the reverse were true. My 2nd wife did that. Part of the reason we're not together. She insisted on being her own person etc. Well, she got her wish in its entirety (lol).

davdah - how is the dad assumed a stepdad? 'assumed?' I'm trying to understand what you said about what you said if the reverse is true. Clarify that plaese. Do you mean that the reverse would be she'd become an-x-wife? Only a man that is thin-skinned would feel humiliated. Surely he would feel intimidated before it got that far with the name. Saying it happened like that how would he let it go that far? Put upon them? Do you really think it was put upon you? don't you think you let it happen? Insisting on being her own person? Did you possibly prohibit her from being so? Just curious - that's all.

What I meant is when there are situations where the name comes up. For example. Lets say you and your wife have different last names. The child has hers for this scenario.

You go to the school to pick up your child and as most schools do they check your ID. Oops, the names don't match. They look at you and ask, Are you the step father? After explaining the situation they 'may' let you take your son with you. Usually they will call the mom to clear you.

How can that happen? Fairly easily when your wife to be gets involved with people who have an agenda. When you get married and all of a sudden she decides she wants to keep her last name. It usually doesn't stop there. They want separate accounts, separate bills, separate pretty much everything. All in the name of keeping their identity. Then along comes the child. Did you know its up to the mother to name the child. To even include you on the birth certificate is optional at her discretion. At some point you begin to wonder. Do I have a room mate or wife?
Point being once you start having division it never ends until it ends. Marriage should be unity absolute.