Honestly I don’t know what to do. I would normally have turned to my Church for guidance but….
Klinus,
I guess I'm a bit confused because it sounds like things are going in the right direction for your son? I understand the situation is still very troubling, but what is it that still bothering you?
I’m trying to figure out a way for her to be a part of his life while letting me take the lead in managing his care and his future; despite everything that she has done to him, she still is his mother and she has painted herself into a corner. There are millions of divorced parents who have figured out to parent harmoniously. I would like to be in the same situation, too – for his sake. Everybody loses in a divorce; I am trying to find a way to minimize the damage to him, Maybe I am just fantasizing.
I understand. You guys would probably benefit from family counseling at some point. She's probably not agreeable to this yet, but maybe later once the dust settles, she'll change her mind. I hope so because your son needs both of you. I think it's very admirable on your part to acknowledge this.
Originally posted by ProudUSC: Wow! That sounds very awesome, Klinus! I didn't realize the hearing was today. Sounds like things came out in favor for your son and yourself. So, what's the exe's next steps?
Proud USC:
In preparing for the upcoming hearing, I was collecting the emails she sent me since the first custody hearing and am now concerned that she may do something erratic. She figured that she was safe in the shelter until my boy turns 5 in 2 years. I am pretty sure that the shelter, who is not happy about the local DA keeping an eye on the shelter and the heat that the Church took (and continues to take for being “convinced that my son was in imminent danger†and stating so to me in an e-mail that I passed on to the archbishop and 925 journalists that have written at least 2 nasty articles about priest pedophilia, and yes, I made sure that Archie saw the list that it was being e-mailed to ) will toss her out soon. Yes, I know it was a little overkill but…
She has burnt her bridges with her family, I made sure that the color copies that the NAMCE poster of his missing was posted in every part of the world that she had relatives in the world. I have been copied on really nasty emails sent by her to her relatives (s p e r m donor was one memorable quote).
When physical custody will actually be taken away from her is the dangerous time, since she is close enough to the edge that I am genuinely concerned (as is the s**** donor, who I keep in touch with) that she may harm my child.
Although her relatives may seem not supportive of her you should keep in mind one thing. Blood means a lot to many people. When push comes to shove they may back her decision to take off at the last second. That should be brought up at the final phase. When the custody decision is made that she has no chance of walking out the court room door with him. Passport or not it won't stop her from crossing the border to Canada. I wouldn't be surpised at all if she hasn't gotten a replacement already so you should prepare for any eventuality.
You voted democrat. This country is not worth sneaking into any more.
Posts: 5765 | Location: San Antonio TX | Registered: 06-08-2007
Blood may be thicker than water but I am not sure that they will be willing to be accessories in a crime, The court date will be scheduled on my time when he will be either in school or at my home
I hope for your son's safety that the court date will be scheduled sooner than later. If you fear he is in imminent danger, can't you try and get a temporary restraining order? Did your soon to be ex make any incriminating statements in her emails - something you could use as evidence that your son may be in danger? I'm feeling a sense of urgency on your part and hope you have an emergency plan ready just in case it is warranted.
I hope for your son's safety that the court date will be scheduled sooner than later. If you fear he is in imminent danger, can't you try and get a temporary restraining order? Did your soon to be ex make any incriminating statements in her emails - something you could use as evidence that your son may be in danger? I'm feeling a sense of urgency on your part and hope you have an emergency plan ready just in case it is warranted.
I am hoping that she is too thick to read the writing on the wall wrt loss of legal custody (God knows that she has displayed a lot of that),
While the e-mails show toys in the attic there is nothing that indicates anything that she would do a grab and run; he behavior (extending her cell phone contract to 2 years recently etc.) indicates otherwise. I also believe that she is not swift enough to realize that loss of custody of my son translates into homelessness and the s**t will hit the fan when she tries to live in this neighborhood, where, despite the sub-prime crash, entry level housing is $ ¾ Million, and, perversely said crash has actually increased te cost of renting,
Long and short, I think that the pain will start post loss of custody. The good news in that Canada is a signatory to the Hague convention; she will have to drive him; the most time she would have to do that would be Sat evening till Monday morning and if my son is not at his preschool Monday AM they have been instructed to hit the alarm button: finally, the Canadians are a**l about documentation, both in terms of passport and notarized authorization from the non-accompanying parent to transport minors into their Country.
The Court date is 5 weeks from now, which is about as fast as it can get
It sounds like there are few things that could prevent her from fleeing to Canada. You said her family has pretty much cut her off, so who would she flee to? Would her only motive be to disallow you having partial or full custody or your son? Vindictiveness? That's too sad if that's the case.
Please keep us informed. I wish the best of luck for the safety and well-being of your little boy!
Originally posted by ProudUSC: It sounds like there are few things that could prevent her from fleeing to Canada. You said her family has pretty much cut her off, so who would she flee to? Would her only motive be to disallow you having partial or full custody or your son? Vindictiveness? That's too sad if that's the case. Canada is the only logical place she would go to; anywhere else that she has relatives I have too and wouldn’t need the Hague convention. to get him back so fast her head would spin.
This whole thing was just a badly calculated gamble on her part. The biggest mistake was to assume that just because she was able to con the Church that I have attended for the past 15 years that everything would work like clockwork. Her biggest mistake was that I would sit back and let it happen. Unfortunately, I kept my cool and played everything by the book and came across as the rational parent who did not shoot from the hip and eventually was seen as the parent who was willing to see reality and would work with the system to provide the best care (and, frankly, not cost the State millions of dollars).
Wanting to not let me have him is pure spite; again, unfortunately I made so much noise that this became a high profile case – certainly the first contested divorce case in California involving an (whatever the politically correct term is) alien.
Now – and probably now only she may have figured out what I will do to protect him and realize that if she does anything to harm him the book will be thrown at her.
Its going to be a further 5-6 weeks before the dust settles but trust me I will be watching like a hawk;
Thanks for your concern and support,
Klinus
Please keep us informed. I wish the best of luck for the safety and well-being of your little boy!
I’m trying to figure out a way for her to be a part of his life while letting me take the lead in managing his care and his future; despite everything that she has done to him, she still is his mother and she has painted herself into a corner. There are millions of divorced parents who have figured out to parent harmoniously. I would like to be in the same situation, too – for his sake. Everybody loses in a divorce; I am trying to find a way to minimize the damage to him, Maybe I am just fantasizing.
I hope you are genuinely sincere with this statement.. it is the first time I see a glimmer of hope for the child other than the health and caretaking issues that you will expertly provide. this type of healing will allow the two of you to give him a balanced life. I applaud you sir.
I hope you are genuinely sincere with this statement.. it is the first time I see a glimmer of hope for the child other than the health and caretaking issues that you will expertly provide. this type of healing will allow the two of you to give him a balanced life. I applaud you sir.
Now what s up with that avatar lol
Here’s the garbage I have to deal with: he had to have a hearing test post ear tube insertion, I knew that. What she did not tell me was when the appointment was until (9;30 last night which destroyed my day. Then she claims that she gave me a copy of the report from the post surgery exam (conducted when she kidnapped my son) and claims that the school district knew about it at a meeting back in September. Only problem is, she made the appointment Dec 14, and the hospital medical records show that the appointment was made then, and so there was no way even the hospital knew about the date of the appointment back in September. Thick as a brick.
Having expressed my frustration., I am genuine about wanting her to play a role in his life, as long as she stays the hell out of my way when I am maneuvering the system to get the most benefit for my little boy; I’m not being manipulative, I just am so much better at it and the Court has recognized that.
The Avatar is Mother from the Wall:
“Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry. Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true. Mother's gonna put all her fears into you. Mother's gonna shelter you right here under her wing. She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing and certainly not treated for autism. Mama will keep baby cozy and warmâ€
Maybe the new Avatar is more appropriate
This message has been edited. Last edited by: klinus,
“Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry. Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true. Mother's gonna put all her fears into you. Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing. She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing. Mama will keep baby cozy and warmâ€
Maybe the new Avatar is more appropriate
Ah now I see the connection. lol
I guess I was being Thick as a brick . Life has been taking a Tull on me.
Just as I thought - my husband is an avid Pink Floyd fan. (I've become one too )
The thing that I miss the most in life is having got here too late to see the Wall; though it was a seminal event watching last year's reunion in Hyde Park and watch in amazement at 13 year old kids singing to Wish you were here.
:Looks like her attorney is not talking to her – here’s her retort after I told her that she could not have had the appointment date in September, particularly since the appointment was made Dec. 13.
For the last time, I don't have time to waste on your nonsense allegations without merit. Once again, you were given a copy of his hearing test along with a copy of his Jan 7th, 2008 follow-up appointment in front of witnesses when the same was provided to FUSD staff that assessed him in September 2007.
The same goes for police report # 071226039 which was reported based on false allegations. Your continued harassment towards me and lack of respect towards the current child custody order is resulting in undue stress and is unwarranted.
Here are some highlights (or should it be lowlights) from a sworn court declaration (the spelling mistakes are repeated verbatim):
Called several cross boarder guards to Canada stating "mother is kidnapping the child to Canada". Threatened to kidnap **** and take him to India and leave him in the "slumps of Calcutta". Recently purchased Indian Army style clothing for **** stating that "he'll be in the Indian Army if he ever gets out from the slumps of Calcutta".
Let me quote from my favorite band: The lunatic is in my head The lunatic is in my head You raise the blade, you make the change You re-arrange me till Im sane You lock the door And throw away the key Theres someone in my head but its not me.
The only way that I can allow her in his life is either a lobotomy or phscycatric treatment.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: klinus,
She is running wild. Probably on verge of breakdown or having breakdown. Shelters and that lifestyle will do that to a person
Yes she is going to need treatment and feeling of being safe.
Please Klinus, you must recognize the difference between her being crazy and having a breakdown from living in those conditions. I am sure she came from family of means and this is a shocker to have had to live like she did.
Help her so that she can be a part of your sons life.
She is running wild. Probably on verge of breakdown or having breakdown. Shelters and that lifestyle will do that to a person
Yes she is going to need treatment and feeling of being safe.
Please Klinus, you must recognize the difference between her being crazy and having a breakdown from living in those conditions. I am sure she came from family of means and this is a shocker to have had to live like she did.
Help her so that she can be a part of your sons life.
She’s fighting on 2 fronts: the first is the USCIS, who has already terminated here conditional GC; second is me, and as long as I feel that my son is in danger I’m in DEFCON 1 mode and, and the forces available are significant and creative.
The combination is formidable; she wasted the money in attorney fees; she should have spent it on an immigration attorney; right now, she is likely facing an NTA, and has already violated the AR-11. That’s more money than she has. I am not saying that she won’t finally get her 10 year card, but she it is likely to take at least 3 years before she gets a stamp (letters and said NCMEC poster were sent to every congressperson and Senator in California; there was even an AMBER alert).
Then what happens? She has not worked in the US, and will wind up having
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for doubting. 
)
