LOL This one I reckon would be his to me:

Prenuptial Agreement Please sign,

I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT...

1. In the unlikely event of my not having an ****** after you've drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one. And it'll be a really good act too, with me saying stuff like "So THIS is screwing!" and howling like a cat that's being repeatedly jabbed with a compass.

2. I fully understand that a woman's main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football team lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasn't there.

3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak.

4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot.

5. After *** (which I will NEVER refer to as "making love"), I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will I let my hair annoyingly get in your face.

6. I will never, ever give your ***** a "cute" nickname.

7. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.

8. I will ruthlessly interrogate my attractive female friends and inform you if any of them have the slightest bisexual tendencies. Then I'll invite them around for dinner. And hide their car keys so they have to stay.

9. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".

10. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so you're in charge of the lot. Except for the iron and the washing machine, of course.



Signed ____________________________________

Date ____________________

quote:

I was thinking of making up a pre-nup lol

interesting Sprint, love it!!!
signed everything into your name lmao

I can imagine now a USC being abuse by a LPR crying out loud here in ILW ... lol

lol well I would have to think of one for myself to him.
But I am sure he would rather think it was more important to sort the *** part out only lol

11. You have to work until your butt is sore
and make money for all the bills and my shopping!!

12. You have to transfer all the titles ( your house, car, boat, plasma) under my name

That sounds like Michael lol

Ummm what could I come up with..

13. You don't tell me to cook, laundry, clean
or iron your clothes. Call your mother instead
LMAO!!!

Hi Speed, I love no. 13 I should have thought of that one LOL

quote:

Hi Speed, I love no. 13 I should have thought of that one LOL

Hi Jake lol

Im trying to help Sprint with her prenup
LMAO!!!

you wanna add something?

ROFLMAO!! Speed you are sooo funny!

Hi jake!

I'm keeping well out of this one LOL, Sprint got into this by herself LOL

Bless her... she is so sweet and innocent, can you imagine what she would be like a year down the road after marrying SOM. LOL

Altho if we see a new ID pop up by the name of "Wife of Michael" we will all know she did it LOLOLOLOL!!!

quote:

Originally posted by speed_025:

quote:

I guess I will join Speed and Sprint here and vote for David Cook too

lol Mrs B.. welcome to the club!!!

Proud, Sprint, AI is done...

now get back to work lmao!

ooooohhh wonder if jason is next to say byebye.

We have to wait for one of our west coast friends to see Idol before we can talk about it - lol! I voted for David A. 10 times again. I just love him!

quote:

Originally posted by Sprint_girl07:

quote:

Originally posted by Mrs. B.:
Hello to all the GOOD people here in ILW:

Boss Mike, Hudson, Proud, Explora, RN (thanks for sharing your experience at the rally, glad it went peacefully), Brit (nice pics of planes), CMan, 4Now and the others I may have missed.

Houston and Davdah, glad to see you back.

I want to be cleared about the marriage proposal that Jake received (?) and which is more posh - Surrey or Middlesex? LOL!

Hey Mrs B!

Middlesex has a better name don't you think LOL

Oh it was Jake that proposed to Michael

Yes I was a fan of Carly's. She was good, however she could have done better. She was one of my faves at the start, but somehow along the way she didn't show her great voice as much as she did at the trials.

I saw her in the audience tonight.

Speed LOL I'm watching Hells Kitchen now lol

Not spoiling it for RN, but there was someone who was extremely bad tonight, and think and hope its their last night now.

Did you hear that Proud has bought a Bull for her playroom. LOL
Maybe she is busy riding it again..yeehaaw!!

lol - yep, I'm hooked on the bull - lol! Had to remove the pool table to make room for it!!!! Too much fun! I'll be ready for my next trip to Texas!

quote:

Bless her... she is so sweet and innocent, can you imagine what she would be like a year down the road after marrying SOM. LOL

Altho if we see a new ID pop up by the name of "Wife of Michael" we will all know she did it LOLOLOLOL

ROFLMAO, you crack me up Jake .

Yo Jakey n' Proud. Where's the pics Proud?? *L*

quote:

We have to wait for one of our west coast friends to see Idol before we can talk about it - lol! I voted for David A. 10 times again. I just love him!

quote:

We have to wait for one of our west coast friends to see Idol before we can talk about it - lol! I voted for David A. 10 times again. I just love him!

yeah that kid looks like an angel.

maybe two David on the finals

quote:

Originally posted by ProudUSC:

quote:

Originally posted by speed_025:

quote:

I guess I will join Speed and Sprint here and vote for David Cook too

lol Mrs B.. welcome to the club!!!

Proud, Sprint, AI is done...

now get back to work lmao!

ooooohhh wonder if jason is next to say byebye.

We have to wait for one of our west coast friends to see Idol before we can talk about it - lol! I voted for David A. 10 times again. I just love him!

I think Jason has to say bye bye after tonights performances,

I must admit David A is looking good, especially after tonight, altho maybe its because I do like the songs he sung,

Syesha made a mistake singing Proud Mary, I dont think anyone should attempt to sing Tina songs, or celine songs, unless they are really good and can pull it off.

I think its going to be between the 2 David"s

quote:

Originally posted by Jake01:
I'm keeping well out of this one LOL, Sprint got into this by herself LOL

Bless her... she is so sweet and innocent, can you imagine what she would be like a year down the road after marrying SOM. LOL

Altho if we see a new ID pop up by the name of "Wife of Michael" we will all know she did it LOLOLOLOL!!!

PMSL!!!! omg ive wet the chair!

I'll give you a hint Jake...

Sprint is watching Hell kitchen now!!!
maybe to poison the groom LMAO

OK anyone up for taking this to chat!!!


we need to talk Sprint out of becoming Wife of Michael!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Brit4064:
Yo Jakey n' Proud. Where's the pics Proud?? *L*

Hey Brit guy! If you want pictures, I need an email address (PM). I'm not posting them on the forum - lol!!!