I am writing in the hope that someone may be able to help or offer some suggestion that may help my family be united.

I am British and worked for the US Government in the UK for several years, as a foreign national. I helped several US military members with their UK legal problems, helped them adjust to living in the UK, even visited an incarcerated US serviceman for 2 years because he was seperated from his family and they had no means to visit him.

I met my future husband and came to the US on a fiance visa, with my 14 year old daughter. The INS told me that my fiance could not sponsor my other child as he was over the age of 18, but that he would have follow-to-join rights and I would have to sponsor him once I was a LPR.

I called the INS and they told me that the back-log of such applications is 8 years, as they are not classed as a priority!

My son, worked in a hotel as a kitchen assistant, and his employment ceased in November. Along with his job he also lost his accommodation. We invited him to come to the US on the three month waiver scheme, which he did. He was a delight to have here, he helped a lot of friends with work they were doing on their houses and yards, for no remuneration, and everyone said what a charming young man he was.

It broke my heart to have to send him back to the UK, to my elderly parents who are not in the best of health, but offered him a temporary place to stay in their small home.

I wrote to the Director of INS, but have not had a reply, but sent a copy to my husband's congressman. This office contacted my husband and told him that since Sept 11, the INS had no idea what they were doing and this was not the first case they had come across. They told my husband that they had managed to get a child, of the same age as my son, included in the Change of Status interview and that he was to get all his paperwork together and get the innoculations required in the UK and be ready to return at short notice.

Yesterday, they called my husband and told him there was nothing they could do after all!

I now find myself in the situation where my family is parted by 3500 miles and I cannot return to the UK until May (without further financial penalty) to ensure that my son is okay. I sold my home in the UK to come here to marry - had to spend $10,000 fighting a court battle to get permission to remove my daughter from the UK, my then fiance flying in from the US to attend the hearing.

I had to give up a job I loved, working for the US Government, to find that I cannot work for them if I am actually in the US. I have worked in administrative posts, on a temp basis, since I got here. I have never asked the Government to support me, or my children, in any way. I have always ensured that my husband has not had any financial burden either.

My husband is a good man - I thank God he brought us together every day. But now I am heartbroken and torn between my husband and my children. I can't just abandon my son and leave him to get on with it - before I was at least able to offer him a roof over his head and the support of a loving home. Now I can't offer him anything!

My husband is considering leaving the US, where he has lived all his life, to live in the UK so that his "family" can be together. What a sad situation for a US citizen to feel that he has no choice but to leave his country of birth in order to unite his family.

Can anyone suggest anything I can do to get permission for my son to reside here in the US with us? His sister is very upset - she has already been parted from her twin, because he chose to stay with his father in the UK, rather than move to the US. She now feels that she has lost two siblings.

If the INS had not told me that it was straightforward, and that my son had rights to join us here, I would not have considered coming here.

I did not marry in order to get into this country - I was able to visit the US several times a year with my job. I married my husband because we love each other very much and he is a wonderful, caring, compassionate person. But the stuffing has been knocked out of him too over this and he can't understand why nobody seems to be able to help.

Please, if anyone can offer any advice, I would be eternally grateful.