I have noticed some posts that say don't get divorced, but rather file for an annulment. I ended my marriage the fastest way I could, which I believed was divorce. Trying to get it annuled never even occured to me. I guess I thought that was something you did if the marriage only lasted a few days or if you are Catholic. My marriage was 6-months and I am not Catholic. Anyway, how does a marriage ending differ from an immigration standpoint by divorce vs. annulment. Is it possible to file for an annulment after a divorce has been granted?

An annulment means that the marriage was void from the beginning for something such as fraud. I do not think any state allows for a divorce on the basis of fraud. I do not think you can get an annullment after a divorce since the divorce terminates the marriage. You can sue for fraud after the divorce which is what I did. The main thing is that you want USCIS and the grint that there was a fraud involved. This does several things: 1) Gets you back some cash which is always a good thing 2) Absolves you of any involvement of the savage grints fraud 3) You mess up the grints credit 4) You notify the grint and her new husband that you know what she did and that 5) You stand up for yourself (most important thing) 6) USCIS has a basis for refusing to grant a green card for your marriage or any other marriage (no guarantee what they will really do)

Thanks for the info. I would like to do all those things (and then some). I hired an immigration attorney awhile back who did nothing for me other than accept a retainer fee. I told the attorney that I would like to sue for fraud and try to get back some money, but she advised against that saying I would never get any money from him.

Do I need an immigration attorney for this type of case? Can you please tell me what type of things were included in your case? I paid for all the immigration stuff as well as household expenses. Are gifts something that could be included?

I am very disappointed in the response I received from USCIS. When I went there and spoke to the officer, I felt that he was counseling me more than anything. He told me he was sorry that I got hurt. That he was divorced many years ago. That I was young and attractive and would find another husband blah blah blah.
While I certainly appreciated his kindness, I didn't go there to hear a pep talk. I went there to withdraw my petition. I still have nothing in writing that the affidavit of support I submitted along with the AOS application was withdrawn. I told them and they requested I put it in writing in their presence, but I didn't get any type of receipt that I'm off the hook for this loser.

I called the 800# and talked to some guy who told me that it was possible the case could be approved without an interview, which really scares me. I have been told by others that a marriage bases AOS is never approved with an interview. I just really don't know anything other than I'm congfused ane was a fool who my ex used to the max!

I wouldn't be surprised to see my ex-husband's three brothers around town soon. After their brother mastered the way to come to the USA the whole clan is sure to follow.

Your lawyer is an idiot looking to make a quick buck and to protect an immigrant. I won. pro se, $12,000 injudgments against a fraudster and settled at the begging of her lawyer and collected $6000. Furthermore, the judgment said that she derauded me and "committed an immigration fraud" which the boys at USCIS love to see. You need a lawyer that handles annulment.

I am not impressed with my lawyer. I will look for a lawyer who handles annulments, but didn't you say I couldn't get the marriage annuled after the divorce was final? What did you sue your wife for? I know I'm being nosey, but $ 12,000 is a sizable amount. I would be happy if I could get a few thousand from my ex. How did you/attorney come up with the amount?

Ask the lawyer if annullment is possible; I am not sure. Either way you can still sue. I sued in small claims court for the fraudulent operation, tuition, and telephone bill. I sued 4 X $3000 and got 4 default judgments. When I seized her bank account with the money from the fraudulent operation she had the nerve to "show cause" where I proceeded to humiliate her in public in front of her husband and expose her for the fraud that she is. Neither of us had lawyers. She then got a lawyer to try to appeal that beautiful decision. I responded by suing her for the divorce and having the sherrif serve her with garnishment papers. I called her lawyer to see if they had posted a bond for the amount that I had seized to determine if I could get it right away or wait for the appeal. After a lot of bluffing on his side, he broke down and said they would be willing to compromise. They offered $4500 and I said $6000 firm. She had also returned $3000 worth of jewelery after the trial which i sold off for $1000. I spent $500 on legal advice and paperwork to freze the assets in the bank. In total, I got $6500 more than I would have. Small claims court is a good place to start if it is less than $5000.

WARNING - DO NOT LET WHAT HE DID BECOME AN OBSESSION AS IT DID TO ME; YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY; IF YOU SUE, JUST RELAX AND LET IT BE; DO NOT DWELL ON IT3

Michael,
What a joke you are.

You have obsessed over your wife for the past 2 years or so and now you are advising someone else NOT TO OBSESS? Why dont you lead by example? Have you overcome your obsession or are you just enjoying your lucid moments?

Do you forget you have been calling immigrants like your forefathers grints and all other names of ridicule like fraudsters and scammers?So what else will you start advising against? Abusing legal immigrants?

You are a real comedian.

I do not ridicule grints. Grints is not a negative term anymore than a cockaroach is a negative term for what it is. Not all grints are fraudsters and scamsters; only some of them. Don't tell me what to do you scamster !

mikey,
hay, i wish i had the fight left in me ... i wish i could do what you did. altho it was not fraud my NOW ex-hubby is trying to get more out of me than me just asking for child support. he's wanting 401K, money for a shanty shed he built and didnt finish, as well as other fees. he's 11mos behind on child support ALONE not including my child's hospital bills and daycare. we are divorced by bifurcation and now waiting for the rest of the joke to go thru the court (custody, money he wants, etc). it all doesn't make sense other than he's a jacka55 trying to make my life hell. i also agree, but it's easier sed than done, try not to dwell on it or obsess with it tho it's difficult when there are children involved.
anyway, without getting into MY ordeal ... congrats for having the bawlls, time, money, whatever .... to get what you deserve. i just hope the judge sees what and who the moron is in front of him when moron and i go to court for the final time.

I don't know if I could get any money out of him and causing problems for him also causes problems for me. I'm trying to get on with my life and not let him get the best of me. I honestly believe that he will screw up and get himself into trouble even if I do nothing because he's a jacka55. He knows less about immigration than I imagined. My plan now is just to sit back and wait for him or his family to call me wanting to know what I did to get him into trouble, then I will laugh.

I hear much here and elsewhere about women being the victim, but I am here to tell you "Men" too are victims and in my case I am trhe victim of Green Card Marriage Fraud, whcih has not only destroyed everything I worked to accomplish for almost 4 years, but may well be the death of me, as it has ripped out my heart and soul.

In early Sept 2002 I began emailing to a beautiful Belarussian widow who said she was coming here to California to visit on a B-2 Tourist Visa. I later found out it was not Oksana I was communicating with, but her girlfriend and orchestrator of their plan "Sveta". I was later told that I was one of 20 dates Sveta had arranged, but that it was Sveta's idea, not hers, that she had a son waiting for her in Belarus

Anyway, I met then Oksana in early Oct 2002..took her to dinner and although she spoke next to no English, I was smitten, the moment I touched her hand...I remember the very moment I began to love her. Days and a few weeks went by, we saw each other and talked using the translator on my computer. She told me she loved me, wanted to be with me, to marry me and build a life with me, but I had to make up my mind because otherwise, she had to go with friends to Colorado. I have never had a Visa or been out of the USA and certainly new nothing about the immigration process. All I knew was that I believe God had sent her to me and that after all the loss and hurt in my life, that I was being given a chance to start a new life with a wonderful woman like no other I had ever seen or been with.

She moved in with me in late October 2002 and we began the grueling immigration process...I did all the documents, beginning with getting her Visa extended and in May 2003 we were married. I was not and am not a rich man...money was tight but I managed to start giving her money ($3-400 a month) to send home for her parents, who were taking care of her son while we went through the process of getting her legal and bringing her son her to join us in our new life together. Gifts for friends and family, money to girlfriends in trouble back home, phone bills, clothes, things, going to parties at her friends from Belarus...all this and more and more and more I did for her and while I did complain from time to time because it was all on me and she could not work, I did because I loved her and felt I owed her everything I could do because she had chosen me, to be with me while her son waited for us in Belarus. I was her husband...my life's blood is hers...even now a part of me feels that.

So time passed and during the 3.3 years that we were married I took her to school to learn English, paid for driving lessons to learn to drive and bought her a car, helped her get her Real Estate License, establish credit in her own name and so many other things that a husband should do for his wife...whatever she wanted and needed, not least of this being doing all the immigration documents, fees and all the things a Sponsor must do to get his wife and her son legal in the USA, including paying for her to go home to visit, even though I went further and further into debt and often felt used and taken advantage of like some kind of mule she was riding up the hill. This was okay, I only complained a little..it is how it is for us men..our women want and need and Must Have..as mine put it and making sure she got what made her happy was more important than my having things like clothes and finishing getting my teeth fixed.. I wanted her to have better and to be proud of me and to be her White Knight. Never doubt me when I say how I grew to love her more and more. It blinded me to her use and abuse...it blinded me to her going to Vegas with her girlfriends and the phone calls that included to Russian men she said were just friends. She said she loved me and would never betray me and I thought everything would get better when her son got here.

So finally in Nov 2005, we got her son approved and she went to get him in December. I spent Christmas alone but felt good knowing my wife and son would soon be with me and we would get on with our lives. They arrived the 1st of January 2006. The boy was shy I thought and this being a new environment with a new home and stepfather, I tried to spoil him and draw him close. He wanted computer, I got it for him, he wanted and IPod, I got it for me..his own room was waiting..I even bought him a really nice bike he rode maybe 10 times. Enrolled him in school and was there as a father should be when another boy stole his IPod and I got it back for him. I have a daughter from a previous marriage..she too was thrilled thinking she would have a brother and I tried taking us to do fun stuff like going to ride Go Carts and Skating and Bowling, but the boy was always distant, would never really join in...he mostly wanted to hid in his room on the compuer..his My Space. But I accepted this and that with time he would and we all would find our way. I didn't know it then but he knew what his mother was planning.

Summer School came and because there was no bus, I picked him up everyday..him and his new friends. Money was tight but we were making it and I felt everything was going to be alright with time. Yes it bothered me he wouldn't talk much to me and the last day of Summer School was no different..I thought.

In late June 2006 we went for our 2 year interview at BCIS to remove the conditions to/for her Permanent Green Card. It was a great day, we told each other we loved each other and would stick together through thick or thin and make our lives work. If there was anything wrong, she didn't say so and certainly said nothing at the interview, which we got through with no problems.. we make a great couple..at least I thought so.

On August 4, 2006, I picked the Boy up from his last day of Summer School, dropped him off and went to work. Later, I came home from work about 8:30pm. Aksana (we changed her name from Oksana to Aksana) had dinner ready, we ate and everything seemed to be fine. The boy even ate with us, although he often ate earlier or wanted to eat in his room and watch TV..I had even gotten him the Sports Channels because he's such a sports fan.

Aksana did seem in a hurry to get done with dinner..I told her, hold on Honey, I am not done yet. Anyway, we finished, she did the dishes and said, let's go to bed and watch a movie. I had been having a serious tooth ache and between the pain pills and being tired from work, it sounded like a good idea. I don't remember what we watched, I fell asleep within minutes.

Then about 2am I woke up to see she was up. I asked "What's wrong honey..said, I have a stomache ache..I asked do you want me to get something for you..my tooth hurts too and I will get us both something..she said no and I layed back down. A few moments later she was their on the edge of the bed with a glass of water...she said here. And told me they ware sleeping pills to help me sleep. I am not sure where she got them, I suspect Sveta gave them to her to give to me. My last words were "Thank you baby for being so sweet to me" and I fell back to sleep.

In the morning I woke, she was not there but I didn't think anything of it until I went in the living room and saw stuff from our SUV on the floor..an SUV she talked me into buying a few months before and which I traded our car in for. We put it in her name to further establish her credit..I thought.

Anyway, suddenly I am calling out Aksana..Aksana...I go look in the boys room, all his stuff is gone, his computer is gone, all her stuff is gone, they are gone, including stranding me because she took our only car. I call her again and again on her cell phone, but no answer. Call her friends.... they know nothing but the cell phone bills show dozens of calls before and after to her network of friends. Dozens of calls from Sveta that night as she packed to run.

I was hysterical...weeping..crying..crying out...panicked , not understanding what happened and why. I later found out that she had gone and closed our joint account at the bank and basically left me broke, broken, stranded without a word from her. I called everyone and they began not answering as they were told not to by Aksana.

Later that week the leasing officed called me saying she wanted off the lease and as the days and weeks progressed I received one notice after another saying she had moved her accounts to Sveta's husband (the ex-****o attoney office..he was the facilitator of this plan..the money). I am so stupid that I suspected nothing when the Boy asked for bland CDs, but later found he had wiped all information off the other computer in our bedroom that Aksana used to further cover their tracks. And of course, she took every Immigration Document, our all copies of our Marriage Certificate, my birth Certificate and documents I don't even know about because I let her pay the bills (I gave her the money for). The list is so long, I don't even know how deep, dark, well planned and for how long "they" were preparing for this. She even took my jewelry along with all the jewelry I bought for her.

I called and called and wrote emails, begging her to talk to me. Yes I cried and am still crying. For my birthday on August 18th I got a birthday card from Aksana that only said "Good Luck" Aksana, Yan. Then in my mail box there was a note that said:
Quit calling me
Quit calling my friends
Quit calling my family
I am filing for divorce
My representative will be in contact with you
Aksana

Then on the day after my birthday, the was a knock on the door, I was served with divorce papers stating she wanted a divorce for Irreconcilable Differences, that she wanted Spousal Support, for me to pay her attorney and to pay all her credit cards and for her car. I couldn't work and thank god for my friends who loaned me money to pay the bills and get another car. I even put money in her account for 3 months from that borrowed money because I didn't want to believe what everyone was saying and that she was done with me. I wanted to believe I had done something..that it was all my fault and that my precious Aksana would come back to me if I fixed whatever was wrong...whatever I did to make her do this.

Now, 4 months and 5 days later, I still sleep on the couch because I have nightmares and wake thinking she is there or worse. Yes I weep everyday..I have no choice, I have to get the pain out in order to just breath and yes, I have thought about dying because my life seems over, but I can't give up, I have a daughter who my death would devastate.

She has never spoken to me since, never answered my many calls to her cell phone or even returned the call from the Priest at the church we went to once. Wouldn't call my brother back, wouldn't talk to anyone, especially me and to this day I have no explanation of why she has done this except her actions.

I have heard she and the boy are now living in Laguna Beach with her friend and co-conspirator Sveta, that she is going out and having fun while her Atttorney,,the ex roommate of Sveta's husband prepares their next attack upon me.

I don't have the money for an attorney. I am living on borrowed money even now while I try to find my way moment to moment, day to day and make up my mind to live.

I paid document preparer to prepare my Response to her divorce petition where I contested her request of Spousal Support, Attorney Fees and for me to pay her credit cards which are mostly her trips and of course the Jeep she has.

I feel sure she has now killed whatever love she may have had for me enough now that she will proceed to finishing murdering me and our marriage. Yes, I did call BCIS and tell them what happened but they don't care and won't until she begins what I expect will be her attempt at benefits, which of course I will be held accountable since I was the Sponsor.

I am being told to Amend my Response quickly. To ask for an Annulment of the marriage based on Fraud, that she married me to get a Green Card, but here is the sickest part, I still love Aksana and yes..the Boy, who I see on My Space dressed like a hoodlum Rapper with a mask on saying United States F--- You. He has even erased any comment that he was once in Riverside, but had come straight from Belarus to Laguna Beach.

I know Sveta is busy introducing her to rich men and Aksana is busy looking for a man to give her everything she wants and I could not give her. Maybe I should take out a life insurance policy and go drown in the pool, as there is no one out there to hear me, let alone help me, but at least God and the few who read this will know what happened to this foolish man who thought he could find happiness with such a woman. Hell, I don't even have many friends left, since all my friends were her Russian friends who I am now being shown were never my friends...they just ate my food and accepted presents and were part of my life while Aksana was working her way through her plan.

There is no doubt that this that has been done to me is nothing short of murder. That only the same kind of heart that would murder a spouse that they claimed to love, would do what has been done to me. I also see there really is no justice in the world or at least don't know where to turn for it.

That is my story and it's not over

quote:

Originally posted by bigdummy:
I have noticed some posts that say don't get divorced, but rather file for an annulment. I ended my marriage the fastest way I could, which I believed was divorce. Trying to get it annuled never even occured to me. I guess I thought that was something you did if the marriage only lasted a few days or if you are Catholic. My marriage was 6-months and I am not Catholic. Anyway, how does a marriage ending differ from an immigration standpoint by divorce vs. annulment. Is it possible to file for an annulment after a divorce has been granted?

The general rule of thumb is if a dissolution of marriage (divorce) was granted by the state, then annulment becomes null and void. Furthermorew, depending on which state you live in depends on how likely an annulment might be granted. If you live in a no=fault state, then annulment will have to be based on polygamy, fraud, extortion, etc. With dissolution of marriage, states look upon the situation in a pure economic equity standpoint. That is to say that both parties will have a dissolution of joint assets through the marriage whereas neither party is placed in a situation of economic hardship, generally. This site gives an excellent comparison between annulment and divorce. This site provides general information about divorce and marriage settlement.

Divorce or annulment have little to do with immigration in most cases. Depending on which visa your spouse came on depends on how relevant the divorce or annulment may have. Given the time frame of marriage of only six months, divorce could play a role in the spouse adjustment of status.

Best advice is to move on and let it go.

MajKarma,

feel free to e-mail me as well. You can also read my story right here, very similar to yours, but not as bad:

http://relationshipweb.com/forums/ikonboard.pl?s=a5a33e...0a;act=ST;f=7;t=6685

Bigdummy, SonOfMichael and I have been through the same. All three of us were able to come out on top and send them all back empty-handed, so feel free to holler at us if anything.

Btw, bigdummy is a female and a good friend too!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dmartmar,

Gentlemen,

I can not begin to tell you how much I appreciate your interest and words of encouragement. Today, like every day since she left, I woke thinking about taking poison or some means to end my misery, but you gemntlemen make me realize that "she" is not my wife, not the woman I beleived she was, but some form of mercenary criminal, as there is no doubt she planned and waited and excuted her plan just like a criminal and has shown no remorse or compassion since.

I will file a police report about her slipping me the sleeping pills, taking our only transportation, closing our joint account, taking my jewelry, wiping the computer clean with her son's help and the long list of other horrible things she did before and after we went for our two year interview to have the conditions of her green card removed. I hear she is having a great time at the beach living with her girlfriend, living off her girlfriend's husband...I cringe to think what she is doing in exchange for this. It is all so horrible, but you are right, there comes a time when a man needs to stand up for himself and today I am determined to do so. I am not only broken, but broke, so I will need to get legal aid if possible and any advice or assistance any of you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

Whatever anyone who reads this may think, the fact is there are such people who do such things and men are not the only victimizers and murderers out there.. I know, I loved and cherished one of them.

quote:

I can not begin to tell you how much I appreciate your interest and words of encouragement. Today, like every day since she left, I woke thinking about taking poison or some means to end my misery, but you gemntlemen make me realize that "she" is not my wife, not the woman I beleived she was, but some form of mercenary criminal, as there is no doubt she planned and waited and excuted her plan just like a criminal and has shown no remorse or compassion since.

I will file a police report about her slipping me the sleeping pills, taking our only transportation, closing our joint account, taking my jewelry, wiping the computer clean with her son's help and the long list of other horrible things she did before and after we went for our two year interview to have the conditions of her green card removed. I hear she is having a great time at the beach living with her girlfriend, living off her girlfriend's husband...I cringe to think what she is doing in exchange for this. It is all so horrible, but you are right, there comes a time when a man needs to stand up for himself and today I am determined to do so. I am not only broken, but broke, so I will need to get legal aid if possible and any advice or assistance any of you can offer will be greatly appreciated.

Whatever anyone who reads this may think, the fact is there are such people who do such things and men are not the only victimizers and murderers out there. I know. I loved and cherished one of them.

Did you read my story and its happy ending?

First things first: inform the USCIS, then take care of the rest.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: dmartmar,

I am still frozen, not knowing what to do. My Belarussian Wife has many resources and friends, all of who I thought were also my friends only to learn otherwise.

I NEED A LAWYER HERE IN THE CORONA-RIVERDSIDE CALIF area!!! Can someone please help me? I am being murdered here and if I don't find away to defend myself I am going to live out my life very screwed up by this. I will never be able to trust or love a woman again and I am not joking..I have nightmares and have been sleeping on the couch for over 4 months now. Please I need some help!!

Ou wow, Maj... so far we have one side of this story. If you can't afford the lawyer - go to Legal Aid. And get some counseling!

By trying to harm her, you'll do worse to yourself. You have to accept it - she won't be back. And she is no longer your wife.

Get a grip of yourself and move on.

OT sounds like a Collaborator..one of her friends...one of them.

I have done nothing to harm her. I still love and care about her, but if "Truth and Justice" still matter in this countrym they should be deported and all those who were involved sued or sent to jail. I pour myself out for her. I never cheated or did anything but worked and loved and tried to establish her.

I consider people who say "Move On" and get a Grip to be of the same mind and heart as these murderers..as what was done to me was worse than premeditated murder.

Do you know her QT ?

I feel your pain but money cannot buy love, which is what you probably what you tried to do. You're still in love with this woman which is normal. Next time, don't fall in love with a woman you can't communicate with in English.