Go  |
New |
Find |
Notify |
|
Reply |
|
Admin |
New PM! |
Frequent Member
|
EFFECTIVE WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks.As he wondered how in the **** he would ever do it, he ran
across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself.But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second
thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing,
he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself,
"I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stand the most stunning,
beautiful, **** woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door or after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her,but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. Forthe next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the
fifth day,he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day 50
pound program.
Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone."This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years"
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but
pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,
"If I catch you, you're mine."
|
| |
|
Power Member
|
That's a good one olalala! 
We voted Democrat. They'll be no need to sneak in anymore
|
| |
|
Power Member
|
quote: Originally posted by olalala:
EFFECTIVE WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks.As he wondered how in the **** he would ever do it, he ran
across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself.But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second
thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing,
he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself,
"I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens.On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stand the most stunning,
beautiful, **** woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door or after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her,but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. Forthe next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the
fifth day,he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day 50
pound program.
Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone."This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies,"I haven't felt this good in years"
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but
pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,
"If I catch you, you're mine."
HaHa! LOL. Good One! |
| |
|
Power Member
|
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO* What's the difference between a northern USA f-airytale and a southern USA f-airytale? A Northern f-airytale begins 'Once upon a time...' A southern f-airytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t...' *****tale = f-airytale.. f-airy is bad?? lol -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too  Mr S.U. |
| |
|
Power Member
|
Saturday, January 5, 2008 "Get Out Of The Car!" (This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason that she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the end of the counter, where four pale man were reporting a car ******* by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U. |
| |
|
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
The
leading immigration law publisher - over 50000 pages of free information!
© Copyright 1995-2008 American Immigration
LLC, ILW.COM
|
Add to del.icio.us