Originally posted by ALLFAIR: AnD YeT ThE MoTiVeS Of wOmEn aRe sO InScRuTaBlE . . . ThEiR MoSt tRiViAl aCtIoN MaY MeAn vOlUmEs, Or tHeIr mOsT ExTrAoRdInArY CoNdUcT MaY DePeNd uPoN A HaIrPiN Or a cUrLiNg-tOnGs.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work RetailI was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back. Same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get- one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one- get-one-free, ' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walkedout the door. They Walk Among Us! One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Som eone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where?' They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explain ed, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.' They Walk Among Us!! I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.' They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the wom an there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?' They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.' Yep, They Walk Among Us! They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce.
Subject: Childbirth > Should children witness childbirth? > Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded > to the call. > The house was very dark so the paramedic asked > Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high > over her mommy so he could see while he helped > deliver the baby. > Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. > Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, > Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his > little feet and spanked him on his bottom. > Connor began to cry. > The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and > asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about > what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly > responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in > the first place......smack his B U T T again!"
KIDS! You Gotta love Em!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MakeItRight!,
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.
A while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.
The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine.'
The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'
The little boy replied, 'You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's a s s and he'll pass a Harley Davidson.
The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of them dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got me about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
On a hot, dusty day a cowboy rode into a small frontier town. After dismounting, he walked behind his horse, lifted it's tail and kissed it where the sun don't shine. An old man rocking by the general store witnessed the whole thing. "Whudd'ya do that fer?" he asked. "Got chapped lips," the cowboy replied. The old man asked, "Does that help?" The cowboy said, "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
Originally posted by Houston: The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of them dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got me about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
LMAO.. this is men all the time! Never make sense and misunderstand ! lmao!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Originally posted by Houston: Generalizing now, Sprintie? lol
See what I mean? lmao
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
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