The Actual Source of The Funny stuff Thread Comes From a 89 Year old Woman, Most Decent! Crazy, Insane, Cooky, Smart, Friendly To All, Insightful, All Around Great person!
It Has Been 3 Days Since I Have Heard From Her, and I Am Concerned. Can I Hear It For a Prayer, For The Unknown Substance Provider, Of The Funny Stuff Thread.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Nope She Is Back One Of My Many Oldie Buddies. Crazy Granny Is Ok. "She Would Smack Me For That. LOL. She Is Probably The Only 89 Year Old Computer Literate Person On The Planet. Actualy Her Humor Is alot Like Your own Sprintie.
She Got A New System, And Was Setting It Up For few Days, She Is Extreme power Netter!!!
She Uses 3 Monitors, and 3 Partitions, She Built and Over clocked The Processor Herself. Liquid Cooled Extreme Gaming System But She Doesn't Play Games, She Is Multi Tasker. At 89 !!!! LOL. Old People Can Be Hilarious, Is Why I Shared It Here.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: MakeItRight!,
Glad to hear it DC..always more room for peeps like us
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
I checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus!
I checked snopes.com, this morning, and it is for real!!
Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS! You should be alert during the next several weeks. Do not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD,' regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc (C drive) of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send t his e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it. If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a friend, do not open it.! This includes all cards, too. Shut down your computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus w as discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where your vital information is kept.
First of all, as one Microsoft Certified Network Engineer, CISCO (CCNA) and C++ Pro and Java Programmer told me 10 years ago, never connect to internet any computer that you want to be safe from hacking or destruction of hardware. Besides, he said, there is too little you can do to protect anything private when you are on the web. The guy was teaching MCNE classess and had that little device that you hook up and break any password in seconds (well, sometimes little longer than that, but you get the point).
I never got quite interested in computers, never felt any passion to learn about that stuff, but just intuitively understood what this was all about.
So, what I do now? I have 5 factory CD's that came with computer - those are erasing and restoring the comp. to factory condition. Anytime my comp acts funky or just noticeably slows down, so that it becomes annoying when I browse, I don't even bother to check for viruses or spyware or anything (couldn't care less) , I simply erase entire hardware and re-install it back to factory made condition. The only thing I lose is links to favorites and that's about it.
I suggest you all do the same. Use some other comp, other than one accessing internet, for your business , studies , projects and etc. And you will never have to worry about this stuff again.
Summary: Warning message claims that an email with an attachment entitled "POSTCARD" will destroy the hard drive of the infected computer and has been classified as the most destructive virus ever.
Status: Warning is a hoax but is causing confusion because it includes a link to information about a genuine but totally unrelated virus.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old ****, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?' The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.' The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squalking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Dammit..... third G A Y rooster I bought this month.'
Moral of this story? ...
Don't mess with the OLD ****S - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mni d too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is t aht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghi t pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1908. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the USA for the Year 1908 : ************ ********* ********* ******
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles Of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking? DUH! )
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
-------------------- "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. " - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 775 | Location: Las Vegas | Registered: 05-16-2008
LOL I was thinking about doing the same thing since he is AWOL for a while.
LOL You would vote for her now??
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless America - God Bless Immigrants - God Bless Poor Misguided Souls Too Mr S.U.
Watch the video! Abso-freaking-lutely! She's like Jack Bauer on steroids, man!
-------------------- "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. " - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 775 | Location: Las Vegas | Registered: 05-16-2008
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home..
3) Open a beer and drink it..
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench..
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11. 20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent: Parts: $50.00 DUI: $2500.00 Impound fee: $75.00 Bail: $1500.00 Beer: $20.00 Total: $4,145.00 But you know the job was done right!
Anyone can find and post pics? _______________________________________________
Crews rescue naked man stuck in portable potty
31-year-old man in holding tank; 'first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had'
updated 8:29 p.m. ET, Fri., June. 6, 2008 LEBANON, Pa. - Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.
Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.
Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller told WPMT-TV, "I've been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first port-a-potty rescue I've ever had."
Police charged the man with public drunkenness and creating a health code violation, but they have no idea why he was in the toilet with his clothes off. They said he didn't suffer any serious injuries.
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At 89 !!!! LOL. Old People Can Be Hilarious, Is Why I Shared It Here. 
